A new site in the new year brings a new start...

Formerly Scott's picture

I missed Oasis. I admit, for a time I was glad that it was gone because I thought that it was time to let go. See, I developed a sort of scorn for it. Well, not Oasis, but the fact that I wrote on it and what I wrote.

See, there was a guy I barely knew who said that he liked me. Like, really liked me. We talked about what our relationship would be like when we got back to school, and I sent him my journal (this was after Oasis went down, so I sent him my saved copy). Right after that, he told me that it would't work out between us. He started it and ended it in two weeks. It was so hot and cold that I couldn't think of anything to blame but my journal.

Good. I'm glad it's gone. I was stupid to have written in it in the first place, I told myself.

But it didn't have to do with that at all, apparently. He read the first entry and deleted it. He made his decision on other reasons, and I've decided to not care. He has a boyfriend now, he's friends with all of my friends, and it's awkward as ass, but I'm tired of caring. I'm in a good mood.

Thus, I missed Oasis and am glad it is back.

So it's a new start. For the first time in a while, I don't have any crushes or prospects, and I am FINE with that. Really. It feels good. The cute straight guy from high school is all but forgotten, the cynical hottie from last semester is still lurking around but he pretends I don't exist and that is fine by me, the boys in the choir who are nice are still nice but I don't anticipate conversation any time soon, and the sickeningly skinny sainted stranger that everyone built up to be so marvelous has screwed with my heart and walked away without judgment and with a boyfriend from a nearby school, and I really don't care, despite the bitter undertones that snuck in there (I harbor no bitterness! I swear!). I am fine again. I've reached a good place. Sure, there are two guys I avoid when I see them on campus, but who cares? They're only two guys. I am happy with myself, I am happy being single, and I see no reason to become a bitter, desperate fag; I've got three more years of college for that.

In other news, I've been going to the gym, thanks to a conversation I had with Jeff a few weeks ago. It's a process, but I feel really happy when I do it. I certainly boosts confidence.

Ah, happiness; it's nice to feel you again.

January, the worst month of the twelve, is definitely breaking.

Sincerely,
Formerly Scott

Comments

Anonymous's picture

I'm really starting to like t

I'm really starting to like this Oasis thing ! I witnessed another basic truth about humans as social animals: how we will try our best not to make *any* enemies as opposed to accepting that we will make one or two and just enjoying life on our *own* terms.

Thanx for that Scott :) I'm off to make some enemies !

~~::The only constant in life is change::~~

Formerly Scott's picture

Cool

I'm glad that you realized that basic truth. I don't know how I did it, though, whether it was my passive attitude to avoid being enemies with those boys or if it's because I didn't beg or act fake in order to preserve some sort of pointless friendship with either of them, but if I demonstrated anything that helps you realize what you need in your life, I'm glad. It really is a beautiful thing to live life on your own terms, but there are many ways to do it without making enemies. It's also important not to be so ready to make enemies that you don't listen to what people say or consider their side of an argument, because sometimes they're right. Deciding how to react in which situations, not being rigid in your opinions, and not being too self-centered (and occasionally making the wrong decisions, acting stubborn, and considering no one but yourself) is part of being a rational person. However, being young and being a rational person are not always link, so just have fun and don't worry about making enemies now. Life is too short for caution and regret.

Wow, how did this turn into some sort of advice column that you didn't ask for? Weird...

badqueermonkey's picture

Hey you!!

Girl, where did you go? It's Phill a.k.a. Okottakaba. I haven't talked to you in ages! How have you been? Well, it seems like you are okay...I hope to talk to you soon. Laterz!

Formerly Scott's picture

Wow, I'm sorry I haven't been on!

I totally forgot about using my Formerly Scott AIM name during the past few months! Sorry about that. I've been good lately, how have you been? Send me an email and we'll talk. I'm not sure when I'll sign on again. Talk to you later!