Have you ever questioned your gender?

Trans and PROUD!
3% (2 votes)
Yes, and I've just acknowledged it to a few people
5% (4 votes)
Yeah, sometimes- but just in my head
21% (16 votes)
I'm comfortable in my identity but I like to genderfuck
29% (22 votes)
No, why would I ever want or need to do that?
33% (25 votes)
3% (2 votes)
What's gender?
7% (5 votes)
Total votes: 76


kate's picture

Looking for some insight

could anyone give me some insight as to what it's like to question your gender, or want to change genders? thanks

TransboiCAM's picture

What its like:

It's hard to describe what its like to question gender(I feel a story emerging from this one,LOL).
Kinda a bit like questioning your sexuality but on another level.
Society is totally geared for two genders, male and female- being male born men and female born women- and is initially terrifying to realise that you don't fit there (bit like realising you're gay,again)- and then to realise you want to change genders...
its like as a little kid, putting your shoes on the wrong feet and trying to walk- you think they're right, others don't...and they don't quite fit right, but yet they look right to you.It becomes frustrating, trying to force yourself to be something you're not just to fit in with society and then to come out and acknowledge that you are different and openly question, want to change or live as another gender and face discrimination from society, both gay and straight- because they feel you're not like either of them and you make them uncomfortable because you're so different from the "normal" male born men and female born women they see everyday.

Being silent as a torn scared child out of confusion because you've just been yelled at for doing something gender inappropriate and seeing what the consquences of that are, yet it feels so right to you, and being able to work out what's so wrong about it.

Being incredibly frustrated becuase of not knowing who you are, being surrounded by people who don't understand, a lot who are ignorant and enforcing their two gender binary that doesn't change for them- people thinking you're sick, or crazy to question gender.

Feeling trapped in a deep dark hole or running round in a maze with no end, not knowing how to get out, and find the path or light and feeling stuck with nowhere to go, no one to talk to, and no answers, and desparately searching for other pieces in the puzzle, round and round in your head.

Coming out as gay, then realising later that you don't have all the puzzle and may be trans/are trans is quite hard too (particularly in my case, coming out as bi as well as trans)- get a lot "So you were never really gay!"- and people getting annoyed with me because they can't fathom that I wasn't trying to deceive them, I truelly thought I was gay, but there was just something there that didn't fit right for me and it was just a step on my journey to acknowledging my true self...and I may still be on that journey.

Don't know if that helped at all or I was just rambling- let me know.

Alex- maybe you'd like to add something?

Yeah, definately think this is story material ;-)

kate's picture

that was very helpful. :). Li

that was very helpful. :). Like you said, it's hard for people to fathom what it's like to question gender when it's somethnig you've never done yourself. I tend to challenge the steriotypical vision of female gender but I am nevertheless comfortable being a "female born woman". so anyway, thanks for helping me understand some of this!
kate (looking forward to reading that story!)

transalex's picture


Shit man, I've never heard it described better. There is absolutely nothing to add but can I put it as a part of my Trans For Doofuses on my webpage (with proper credit, of course!)? I think this would explain gender to a LOT of people so very very well. I bow to your eloquence.


"I'm never sure if I have gender dysphoria or species dysphoria. I often try to explain that I'm really a starfish trapped in a human body and I'm very new to your planet." ~ Patrick Califia

TransboiCAM's picture

Yeah, sure. *Blushes*The mo

Yeah, sure. *Blushes*
The more people educated the better!

LOL- Very cool quote! :-)

How'd you answer the poll?

transalex's picture




"I'm never sure if I have gender dysphoria or species dysphoria. I often try to explain that I'm really a starfish trapped in a human body and I'm very new to your planet." ~ Patrick Califia

transalex's picture


Read Cam's Contribution to Trans For Doofuses!!


"I'm never sure if I have gender dysphoria or species dysphoria. I often try to explain that I'm really a starfish trapped in a human body and I'm very new to your planet." ~ Patrick Califia

Boygasm's picture


To question my own gender, I feel indifferent about that issue. Although I feel more to as a girl than I am to a man. I never doubted that. Of course I have a penis, and im not denying that becuase its my idenity as a person. So what im saying in a way I can be a boy and be a girl at the same time. I feel comfortable with that. TO mutilate yourself is to make you either feel better about it or worry more. I think sex change can be extream for those who arent definate what they want. Do a lot of research, look deep into yourself, feel good about yourself, feel good about who you choose to be, and then mentally prepare yourself to make the choices.

TheSoko's picture

Gender sucks!

I hate gender! :P

First off, you have to remember to use the proper pronoun for people(and in some languages, the gender of words), which mucks me up often. The other thing gender does, is it divides us up. People will label you as boy or girl, and forget about individuality, which is no good. Sure, we might have a biological gender, but as individuals it's a lot more complex than that. Especially when you throw in us genderqueer people!

adbak's picture

Ack, help

Could you define genderfuck?