after wallace stevens, what is left?

linds's picture

one.

It takes all this courage to do a good deed. It's hard to have one's offer turned down after spending an hour talking myself into volunteering for something.

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two.

Where is coruscans from the old Oasis? I miss reading you.

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three.

I talked to my therapist today about last week. It brought up a recurring theme yet again: powerlessness.

I often feel as though I have no power. With my mentors, it gets rather sticky.

(Of course, my willingness to participate in this scheme remains unanalyzed.)

When an acceptance letter (or several? we can hope) comes in, in a few weeks, who is going to make the final decision on that? Me? Or them?

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four.

"If you get into Cornell, you must go."

There's that nasty "must" word again.

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five.

I am unduly worried by the fact that a friend got invited out to California (at least that was what I understood?) to see a particular program while I haven't heard anything yet, nothing from any of the eight programs to which I've applied.

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six.

I am procrastinating. My work will not get done if I keep on this way. But I don't think my discontent will disappear even if I do get my work finished.

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seven.

Willfully choosing to read Chaucer in the original after a two-year hiatus from Middle English is simply asking for trouble.

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eight.

Loneliness is not banished through masturbation.

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nine.

I....

am often without the right words these days.

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~Linds

Comments

el's picture

.....

what's wrong wif cornell?

linds's picture

absolutely nothing.

of course. what's wrong is me allowing my choices to be made by another person.

in fact, everything about cornell is right, at least in the abstract. i may even get to make that a reality. stranger things have happened.

~Linds

Luke's picture

Mmmm...Chaucer...

I wish I had the willpower to a) learn Middle English and b) read Chaucer in it. Don't worry about acceptaces and whatnot. You have oodles of talent, regardless of any procrastination. All you have to do is make a concentrated effort to get work done, and it's hard, but I have an infinite ammount of faith that you can do it. And masturbation is not a cure, but rather a fun way to pass the time and let you feel the loneliness exquisitly. Off to read Joyce. No worries:)
-Luke