This has possibly been the most important weekend since arriving here at the beginning of the school year, in terms of personal growth. The retreat I went on for GLB students was absolutely wonderful. I got sooooooo much out of it...the theme of the retreat was "bridging the gap between two worlds", pointing mostly to the gap between our place in the gay culture, and then our place in the overly heterosexual culture as a homosexual. So many of the things we talked about were issues I've personally been dealing with over these past few weeks.
As a result of the retreat, I came back and:
1)am now definitely going to apply to be on the Standing Committee for Gay and Lesbian Student Needs. The scariest part of this is I will have to talk about my personal story in front of RAs, Rectors, and then later the Freshmen students. This could possibly (probably) include people from my own dorm.
2)I came out to two of my close friends tonight. This was a HUGE step for me. I'd never really come out to anyone that I am friends with in person before, only over the internet. They were both great about it, and one even commented that I've gained a few points on her coolness scale, lol. I'll probably be telling the rest of my close group of friends pretty soon...I don't want for some of them to know and some not to know.
3)and last, I'm DEFINITELY going to tell my mom during spring break. This is by far the scariest of all of these, but it's just something I have to do. If I'm essentially outing myself to the whole school by being on the standing committee, my mom needs to know. My sexuality is slowly but surely becoming an integral part of who I am, and I want to be able to share this with my family.
Wow. Ok, I feel so much better than I have in months, I think. I've still got quite a way to go before I'll really be happy with all aspects of my life, but I'm progressing. I am, however, so emotionally drained at the moment that I've got to just go to bed and sleep.
I hope everyone else is having a wonderful weekend. :)