Im back from the murky weather Florida vacation. We pretty much had alot of rain in Florida on the most part. But it was utterly fab cruising Universal Studios with a gay friend(an old crush)and my parents. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday we had some rays but was still chilly. OH well
Returning to Michigan wasnt what I had in mind. I had a sheer bliss of being away from home, away from the old shite, even though my parents were with me. My mother and I are really close. So it was cool both ways. It was also nice to get off line and be away from the computer once in a while. Since computer is my first and my only way of communicating with others. Phones are useless when you are deaf.
Its 2 am right now, and even though I just got back home this late, I still cannot sleep. Owning up to this troublesome thoughts and negitivitys are starting to sponge up in my brain once again.
I had this convo with my old crush, lets just call him Michael okay? I sorta absent mindly asked him some question which lead to things I did not want to hear. Its just irksome that I previously had problems with this :friendship: issue that plauqed me with million questions. To be quite frank, I dont really care much for hearing people that much anymore. They lack the converstation that we usually congregate with other deaf people like myself. Even though Michael is different, I still find him irresible sexy when hes all smart and cool. He told me that he was to old for me, being 30 and all which I dont find any fault in that. Its just digits. And yet I find out he falls in love with another 20 year old dude, and it troubles him even more. Which is none of my business I know. He says he still feels he cant do anything with him, because it plauqs him as well. It just hurt me to hear this, but even though its the truth, and that I have already accepted the fact he has no feelings for me. I still consider him a great friend to "communicate" with. Hes awesome when you start talking to him. Trust me. Cant go without his humor ;)