heylo

shai girl's picture

sometimes I wonder...wat if I had spent the summer with my friends...would I have turned out the same way?...most of the summer consisted of me watchin the telly-vision when I was supposed to be out partyin' with friends. Why I never went out with them I dunno, it must have been fate. One night while flippin' channels I saw Buffy the Vampire Slayer on, so I was watchin for a lil while and then I saw Willow givin Tara a lil lip lovin, I put that scene in the back of my mind and changed the channels, but then there was a lingering question, could I possibly be gay? I had never really thought about it since I wasn't really around anything like it. But throughout the summer I saw more shows showin lesbian and bisexual couples and that question was sorta answered, I think I might be gay!... I thought about it all the time thinkin of when I was with friends at the pool and how my eyes would linger on some of my friend's bodies or when I would watch some shows thinkin about how pretty or cool an actress was when all my friends were fawning over the leading man. I knew something was definitely not normal. I went on leading what I thought was a normal life, acting as if nothing had changed over the summer. But then everything changed. When I was standing at a friend's locker I got tickled by one of my best friends, so as revenge I tickled her back, but then all of a sudden it hit me, while she was tickling me, I in turn was checking her out...I was attracted to a girl! this was all so completely new to me...and now I am gay positive...but I still can't help wonder... what if I had never seen that Buffy Episode?

Comments

maclay's picture

:)

Oh yeah, Buffy rocks! :) It was also during an episode of Buffy that the idea popped into my head: "I think I'm gay." One year later I am still trying to figure out what this means to me exactly, but it was Willow and Tara who set me on the path.

Corvus's picture

Well,

Well, I suppose it's better that it helps you find your sexuality rather than getting you into magick for the wrong reason :P
Buffy made me realize how into guys I am, i.e. Angel, Spike, even Xander!

justagirl's picture

Buffy didn't make you gay...

It was a couple of summers ago when I began to wonder. I had just started to watch Buffy, but the thought that I might be gay didn't really cross my mind. It was in fall 2001 when I saw the Jessie/Katie storyline on Once and Again that I really began to question my orientation. All I remember is after I saw like the first couple of eps with them and the subtle chemsitry I suddenly became more aware of what was happening on Buffy and other shows out there. I would think about how I've never really been interested in guys and how I've always felt different from everybody else. I don't know. The peices were all there, but I was (and still kind of am) completely confused.

Some people might say that these programs "turned me gay" but they did not. They just made me realize the possibility and think about who I really am. I'm guessing that's what's happened to you.