guideingforce's picture

So hey, I haven't written much in a while.
So I've got a significant other, I suppose. I'm pretty sure I'd call him my "boyfriend," but I've come to the understanding that this is something one asks, and not something one assumes.
At any rate, so much to talk about.
It all started about two months ago. I was talking to Alex online, and he told me that he was talking to this guy Alfred; someone who had contacted me, but I didn't feel any "chemistry," and I don't think he did either. So, nothing came of that. Alex was SO upset about this. He accused me of all sorts of things. In the end, he and Stef, my two best friends, said that I should give people a chance, and to lower my expectations a bit. So, I did, sorta.
I decided I would go back on planetout, and poke around, see what I could find. I found this guy whom I had emailed once before a while ago, but I had never heard back from. He seemed pretty nice, and I thought he was witty and charming, (from his online profile, at least.) So, I went and got a paid account for one month, and I emailed him, and hoped I would get a response.
And I did! Joy was I. We made plans to go see Chicago that coming Thursday. I tried to talk to him a bit online, but he was rather clam-like. But, instead, he had a Livejournal for me to look at, and look I did. So, we went to see it, which was faboo. I had a perfectly wonderful time, and I'm thinking so did he. I said I would see him sometime that weekend, and I did. We went out for sushi, and I invited Stef and Alex because they were eager to meet him. I had to beat them off with a stick to keep them from showing up at the movies on the first date, so I figured I'd let them come this time. Besides, it was Alex's late day. So, we had sushi, walked around Lake Ave a bit, and then we went to Cityplace because Alex wanted to. I didn't really want to go at first, but Stef reminded me it was his last night, so I conceded. We just walked around, saw a domestic disturbance, and crap like that.
I tried to contact him that week, but I wasn't able to get a hold of him until Friday. He already had plans that night, which made me sad, but I lived. We went out the next day instead. I was so desperately trying to avoid going to Cityplace again, (the local "the place to be,") so we ended up going to, lol, CompUSA and then to dinner. We went to dinner at a cute eatery where I know the chef, (and I get a hefty discount.) We had chocolate fondue! Yum!
Afterwards we went to my place and hung out. I was working on seducing him, so I have him a massage, but I couldn't get the courage to do anything else at that point. We ended up talking for about six hours at my place, which really surprised me, and then I decided it was time to go to bed. So, I took him outside, and I kissed him goodnight. He promised he would call me Monday and that he would go to new alt on Tuesday.
That was the last I heard from him for the next week and a half. I still don't know what happened, and perhaps I never will, but something dramatic happened on Monday, and he went into a little hiatus. He didn't return my phone calls, emails, or ims. His little lj was exceedingly dark, mean, and all around "leave me alone." Eventually he did some weird poll where anybody with a lj could ask him questions and he would respond. So, I got myself a 2 month account, and I asked him if he was still interested in dating me. He replied, yes he was. Odd!
So, I started to do my little lj. I must say it looks nice, although I didn't do much to it. In one of my entries I stated that I'd like to help him, etc, and he replied saying that he was surprised I understood as much as I did, and he couldn't "describe how he felt." I'm not sure if that was in referance to my statement or to whatever happened, but it is of no consequence.
So, we made plans to go to dinner the following Tuesday, (yesterday.) And I must say it went well. I bought him a book that always makes me feel better after I read a little bit out of it, Dangerous Angels, and I wrote a little note inside of it. I wonder when he'll read them...
So, yeah, things went well last night. I asked him where he saw "us" going. But, he never really responded. I told him that I'd like to see us develop into a serious couple. But, I was concerned that since it appeared that he had a lot on his place, now might not be a good time for him. I forget what he said to that, but I want to say he dismissed it. At any rate, he was very touchy feely last night, and I think he wanted to kiss me in the middle of the coffee house. Impressive!
So, where does this leave us? I don't know. I'd like to think we're boyfriends, but I don't want to think we're somewhat committed to each other only to have him withdraw and put me into emotional trauma yet again. He's lost Stef and Alex's approval, (a topic I'll cover in some other post,) and I must say I'm feeling rather cautionary myself. I like him, and I'm pretty sure he likes me, but I just know he's going to break my heart, and I guess I'm trying to avert as much pain as I can.
Ok, I think that's enough for now. Smootchies!