metrored's picture

I'm furious now. For the first time I really feel like I hate this place. I feel thae hate that I've had for every other school I've been to running through my vains. I hate the lonliness and I hate the people behind it and tommorow, I'm gonna hate not having a job.

Forty minute ago I found out that the shift schedualing for my camous job happened today. I was gone all day at a workshop and though I knew it was comming up, since the last two shift meeting were on sundays and I hadn't gotten an email about it, I'd be okay. I wasn't there isn't a single shift left that I can take. In other words, I'm fucked.

That camous job was my sole source of income, and the thing that kept me from leaching off of my parents for money, parents who were already streatching to pay tuition.

I am fucked
this school has raped me
brused and bleading
I lie
alone in my room
wondering what happened
wondering what i did wrong
wondering what I'll do
ashamed for being here
ashamed for comming back
for money
ashamed that I pretended
though quiet stares past coffee cups
and breif converstions with people who
don't sa hi
in public
I'm ashamed that I let this school
and this world look through me
and that I put on a smile for them
I hate them and the tears they pull


JB's picture

Its not always about you

The title says it all. Life isn't always about you. Its not fair. its not Just. Get over it hunny.

jules's picture


Bryan, when did your panties get so tightly bunched?

At least he goes to school.


daharyn's picture

hey, I'm sorry...

... that this happened to you. I know how reliant we become on these sources of income -- I'm going in tomorrow to request an increase in my funding, in fact. I've lived off of federal work-study and school jobs for the past few years.

What kind of options do you have? What sort of work do you do, what other options are there on campus, are there options off-campus?

If you want suggestions, support, or just someone to look over your resume, send me a message on Oasis or at daharyn at yahoo dot com. I really hope things improve for you.