Lost int the forrest of my mind...

eTgen's picture

Welcome back suckers,

I mean,

Greetings dedicated little ones, or bigger ones as is no doubt the case,

anyway, welcome nonetheless,

(wow this must be the longest intro ever...),

Not having a good day. You know some days are fairly descent in that I can survive them because I have some semblance of fun, however, today fun was not had. I know its very silly of me to continue to post up here with my stupid depressed thoughts, but somehow after posting I can sleep a little better at nights. Anyway, still ate the world and everyone in it. I figured out today that I can get my degree after three years, then I can finally leave this place! Thank god.

Anywhoo, I wanted to thank everyone for their *helpful* comments. But I would like to now focus today's blog on the issue of the gay community. This has been something which has bothered me for sometime.

*prepare for rant*

I

Why- I ask- dear readers must every gay man conform to some standard? Alas, it is not the standard of society that they conform to, nay, it is rather quite a different standard. And here, dear sirs, can you find the absolute irony of such a choice! For behold- they choose the gay standard because they view themselves as rebels. There have never been such a conformity among the rebels, as there are within this gay society. They view themselves as different form the mainstream, as no doubt they are, but alas! have they broken the mirror with which they look at society- do they not verily look upon themselves? Nay! For if they did, then surely, had they eyes- blue I believe is the preferred color choice- they could plainly see that they conform to a new society. But heavens! - Do they not think that this is a society? -They have molds with which any deviant is proclaimed as a follower of mainstream values.- Or, and in truth, dear readers- for I speak only the truth- are they so blinded by their own arrogance that such visions are beyond them? For sooth I ask?

II

I have thought long on this issue, and have resolved with much gravity to bestow my findings unto and should you-most gracious reader- be inclined to read then to now proceed to the argument. There are those, you see, dear readers, who refuse any such conformity within any society. In fact, as it were, we (ironic, no, that I use we instead of me?) are beyond the stuff of society- we are clay which can never harden- ?But praise!? They yell, ?why would you not want to be one of us? Verily you can see, that it is only through us that existence is justified?? Oh dear readers- I trust that you are not so foolish! Alas! how can such great minds fall to such a simple trap! Existence is not justified through some superfluous mold! Quite the opposite! It is through the unwillingness to harden that loose clay is justified, not through the object it creates! Clay, in its most natural state is that clay which has yet to form. And verily, dear readers- I am the clay that does not congeal upon the spinning table! Verily, I remain spinning, for try as the potter may, never can I stop falling apart. So the expert molder tries his go- but I too fail for him. And as their anger grows, the faster I fall apart the quicker they try to mold me until.... until! Oh Poor Yorik, I knew him Horatio! They throw me aside. dejected! Useless! But now can I laugh anymore? Nay, for there is no one to laugh at! To be in the potters hands and too spite him- that is the life I wish to lead, but verily, I melt in the corner, object of no interest- I cause not even the smidgen of anger in any such man! Woo is me.

III

So can we conclude? Can we at last find the solution to the problem with which I and -as apparent from response to the last blog- others are faced with? Perhaps, but then again perhaps not. Oh to perhaps! If only ye were not a word of such mirth! To rejoin and spite them again, or to slowly melt. I have yet to make up my mind. You, dear readers, I leave to your own devices.

Good night all,
and to all a good night!

~bEvP

Comments

thoughtsinelectricblu's picture

Just a thought

Make your own standards...they are the only ones we can truly rise to...Jason

Gone to find myself, If I get back before I return...Please keep me here!