Persoanl Aside: Three reactions to men

eTgen's picture

Today has been a most interesting day, if for nothing else, I have discovered my three possible reactions with encounters to men: for straight guys, gay guys and sexually ambiguous guys.

Reaction to:

Straight men:
The reaction is bizarre to say the least. Most generally, there are two different scenarios- starting conversation or being brought into one. Most often it is the latter. But either way the conversation goes in the same direction.

First: an exchange of pleasantries (How are you doing? How is yada yada yada, bullshit bullshit bullshit).

Second, he endeavors to learn more about a pleasantry (Who is your prof? Is she any good blah blah blah, yak yak yak).

Third, the faux-pas. The whoopsee. The "my-god-I-am-too-nervous-so-let-me-be-stupid" bug. In short I make Edward Gory like Mother Goose (Oh my prof is fine, but I do care for her. I often hope that she does not slip on a patch of ice fall down break her back, and have her body torn apart by an escape tiger from the local zoo. Because then that would bereft the 57 Bus from running over her.) Case-in-point

Gay Guys
Just as a general reminder: I have no gay friends that are not virtual. However, I have met some (in a time long ago when hope, that dancing devil, was here- But alas, sweet sorrow, gone are those days) and therefore can recognize them in a social situation, should (against all my attempts for such a situation to not) occur. However, even though I attempt to avoid the homosexuals I know since they are flaming walking stereotypes complete with Prada bag and Vercase pants, such situations are bound to happen, and when they do.

First, exchange of pleasantries with heinous undertones (Hi how are you?- I see you are still alive, what a pity- Fine and you?- Yes bitch I am alive, and unfortunately you haven't had your skull bludgeoned into non-existence. yada, yada, yada, bullshit bullshit bullshit)

Second, they might inquire about things, but again with heinous undertones (I think you get the idea).

Finally, depart our separate ways.

Now, however, since I have been marked as a social pariah (read previous entry) whenever I see any of them I give them the evil eye. It is hard to describe the evil eye, let's just say that when I give to people I know they become frightened or scared. Imagine the face a crazy man about to do something horrible, and no one knows what, but it will be horrible

I'm too tired I'll update the 3rd latter.