Poem, and then a letter to a slutty ass bitch

Craves_Blood's picture

my poem ~feb. 23, 2003

I can't feel; I can't breathe
My throat shuts off
The pain is numbed by the fact I want to die
My lungs burn as the water comes in
The slits on my wrists bleed
As the water turns a dark red
My eyes are open and stare at nothing
I wait for him, the angel of death
To take me to hell, at least it's better then this.

~*~*~*

My letter to Stacy, former friend. She called me a slut on Friday for some stupid shit. I sent it in the mail yesterday.

Feb. 23, 2003 ~Sunday

Stacy,
Hey, what's up? Nothing much, just chillen. My hand hurts so I'm typing instead of writing back. About James: I know me and him aren't going out. I really like James, but I know me and him can just be friends. I'm okay with that. I'm not trying to steal him away from you or anything. But I think it's wrong how you go out with Robyn and you can't be honest and tell James. You really need to, because otherwise how can he trust you. If you can't be honest with him, you don't deserve him. James means the world to me, as a friend. He deserves better. I've never met anyone like him. I regret so much breaking up with him, and I fear I lost my chance, but you are with him now, and I'm not going to try to go back out with him while he's with you. I just don't want to see him hurt. You said you were going to break up with him, and you told me to call you to tell me why, but you weren't there. And you never broke up with him. If you don't really care for him, that's really wrong if you still go with him and tell him you love him and all. He told me he didn't think you two would last long because he never sees you after school really, and you told him your mom is shipping you off to Germany. Are you really? You've say it before, I remember, and it never happened. I don't understand what happened between us that we lost such a great friendship. You were my first real friend, and the only one I could tell anything and everything to. Then just out of the blue for some reason, we stopped being friends. I don't understand that. I heard at the pep rally that you were the one saying I went with James, and that I was a slut. I forgave you the first time you called me a slut because you said you didn't mean it, but every time I forgive you for something, you go ahead and keep doing it. You talk behind my back, and I know that, and I'm tired of it. I really am. I'm sorry for anything I've supposely said or done to you that made you mad at me, but I don't see what it is. I never said I went with James. We are just friends, and we both just hang out as friends. Maybe you just saw us hanging together at the pep rally or lunch and thought we were more. If it's about Matt, that wasn't all my fault. You said yourself you weren't mad, and you were crying about Gary that night anyway. Robyn was the only one mad at me and she got over it. I don't regret anything that I've said or done to you. If it's about getting arrested, well, that wasn't all my fault either. You have no reason to get mad over that. You would have got caught anyway, some other time. When I told you I thought you were acting like a slut, and a bitch, I meant it because you were. I thought it was a phase. I've known you since I was 7, and you've always be like a sister to me. I'm going to go, before I say something I don't want to say. Please just try to understand what I'm saying and all. Write back, please.

I don't know how to sign this part,
Tasha

~*~*~~
Other news:
-Jonathan asked "If me and my girlfriend break up, will it be ok if I ask you out?" I said yeah. He asked me to get his pocket. It was in his pocket (hehe..)

-Rachael and me are more comfortable with each other. She has started to tell people we're going out. (Yay :)!)

-Danielle and me are friends. Better then being enemies.

-James wasn't at school today! :(

BY THE WAY...
I got a new email to use for my website I'm setting up, it's a Wiccan website with spells and all. Anyways it's:

xx_gothic_xx@hotmail.com

so you can chat with me there. My other email is for my business, and surveys and shit.

Comments

xX_Grandmaster_Xx's picture

Tashie Ree!!!

Why haven't you emailed me lately? I haven't checked my mail in a while tho...lol...I'm weird. Anyway, ohh...Rachael. Hehe...good for you. :)

~gIlBy IS gOd~