Proof that you can never be "too old"!

greyboi's picture

I've heard all this talk about some people being "too old" to change their opinions and feeling with regards to touchy issues that they have been trained all their life to have a negative stance, that one day it becomes "too late" to tell them anything to convince them otherwise. Well, I found out this wasn't true.

When I started posting on Oasis, I told of how I didn't know how my grandparents would react to my coming out. The results were pretting surprising. My grandmother was quite the supportive individual. I was worried about my grandfather, however. (I had heard him say some pretty negative things about the gay people we sometimes saw on TV. He called them "sick" and "perverted".)

Well, I'd have to say that we have come a long way. He no longer asks me if I think certain girls are cute. He actually asks me if I've found a "buddy" yet. He uses gender-neurtal language in describing my hypothetical future ideal mate (i.e., "when you find that certain GUY or girl or whatever...") We even talk openly now on how I feel in being gay and being part of a lower-income black family. He has surely come a LONG way, and he's a little over 65.

He's the REALLY macho type, the type you'd generally (or "better") be afraid of (i.e., he carries a loaded shotgun, and keeps it in his bedroom for "family saftey). He's one of the most traditional, conservative types I know.

Still, even in all this, he has learned to show an excellent level of acceptance. When he sees me, he no longer sees a grandson who has "the gay issue". He just sees his grandson who also happens to be gay.

My dad hasn't made it here yet. He tells me I "need to get some pussy, FAST", and that this will "prove" to me that I'm "not really gay". It's funny seeing him act this way, when his father, whom most would presume to be worse, does the exact opposite.

As for my Christian fundamentalist mother, things could never be worse. I don't think I'll ever get my perspective through to her, but I've have convinced her that it is something that "God can deal with better than we can". At least we can be at silence about this matter. We've done enough bickering to outlast a decades worth of UN confernces.


Well, this was just an update on my situation. Tell me what ya think. :)

-- Grey

DiamondDog's picture

It is interesting how a perso

It is interesting how a person's opinion can change about 'those darn gays' when one of 'them' is a loved one. Also, I've found personally grandparents can be a lot more accepting and easy to talk to because the responsibility of raising you isn't solely in their hands (generally speaking). It seems that your parents got caught in the mindset of "what's good for you" without stepping back a minute and evaluating that.

I'm happy that things went so well with the second set of parents and I hope your first set comes around to better understand you.