Ever since i came out to my parents my life has changed a lot. They doubt me soo much that i find myself know doubting myself too. I know if i begin to doubt myself my life is gonna get a lot worse. For a while the only thing keeping me semi strong was my very firm understanding of myself. But now as i start to lose that i can almost see myself traveling back in time. I didn't eat for a couple of days and i cut again. I know i am never gonna be able to truly kick either of those, but i thought i had enough control to not do them. i think that power and control came from really knowing who i am, and if i begin to start losing that sense than all hell is going to break lose, and i like being at peace. I don't want the hell to return.