Suicide, Cutting and Woe is Me

JB's picture

Well, This is gonna ruffle alot of feathers. And I am gonna say it anyways.


jules's picture


If you are asking for help:

Self-Injury, Abuse & Trauma
Resource Directory

Kids Help Phone (Canada)

Suicide Prevention Action Network, USA


Bryan, you didn't ruffle my feathers. And to some extent, I do agree with you. But sometimes those stories are true - and it's important to remember that. I know this. Because of my stories.

And Oasis is about tolerance. Trendy or not, the degree of one's sexuality/identification isn't for us to judge. That people post here should be enough.

JB's picture

I know

I know some stories are true, I am refering to the ones that are so fucking rediculous its not funny

jules's picture

I know...

and I'm referring to those, too.

alice's picture


I've cut myself once and although people who cut probalbly don't feel to the same , but experiencing it you get to understand more about it and recognise when people are, etc

I also think that JB is very brave for writing something that people are going to object to so much. Yes I agree that people should be able to write what they want and i don't believe ne one is making ne thing up or genuinly saying they are bi when there not

I think Bi people have a hard time because straight people think there gay and gay people think there straight.

BUt I would also like to see more gay people who write about things other than cutting on this website. I don't belive it was intended for this purpose, but it's not my website so i should just shut my mouth and feel honoured to be able to use it

mallory14's picture

do you have to be like, gay o

do you have to be like, gay or bi to write one this thing.. cuz if so.. i'm in the wrong thing.. i just wanted help w/ my cutting trying to offend anyone or anything..

amy's picture

wasting server space

I cant help but feel like im one of 'those' people you are talking about.
Ive been arround here for over a year. I started writing on this site when I was barely 14. I think the younger group of kids on this sites words are just as important as the college age ones. 14 and 15 year olds can fall in love, it probaly wont work out in the end with it but why cant they write about it?
As as selfmutilation your right you have no understanding of why people do it. Its a coping mechinism. It plays a signifigant role in peoples lives so of course there going to write about it. Like drinking or drugs its an addiction that hurts you and others arround you. So is it only ok to write about a certain kind of addiction?

And what right do you have to judge if a persons parent did crack or not?

I write about cutting, im 15 and although I dont label myslef as bisexual sometimes I write about guys. My best friend also writes on oasis. I guess ive been wasting up server space for over a year.

JB's picture

Please read my post again

Did i pass judgement on parents who did crack? I think you should re-read the blog


Kotonashi's picture

in response to that...

I'm 17 years old... I often consider myself bi, but maybe more like 80% gay. I have fallen for sooo many gys, and it hurts... It hurts very badly... I've, and recently too, fallen for girls to the extent of where it hurts the same... Now, cutting, you don't understand unles you've lived it... I stopped... I cut from when I was 14 up until like, last october or september... today though, I cut again... Now, I'm 17, I;ve been dealing with it for 3 years. I know what its like to want to die. I attempted suicide myself. Now, I dont write about it any more, but some people don't have anyone else to turn to and why you are such a heartless and misunderstanding bastard is far beyond me... People have opinions, but if its specificaloly directed to someone, then it doesnt have to be public...

JB's picture

who's calling who names?

hello pot this is kettle? you shouldn't call names. attack the idea not the person.

jules's picture


A big issue here is that postings about cutting - or any other addiction - can be triggering for those in recovery. And maybe everyone needs to keep that in mind when they write. I'm not saying don't write about it, just be careful how you do.

Leisa's picture

So this is an interesting blo

So this is an interesting blog. On the one hand, I completely agree with you Bryan, this is not a cutting/suicide support forum, on the other hand, its an open forum for any and all queer youth. The poor pitiful me act is annoying. If you are sane enough to actually recognize that you have a problem, then do something about it, or ask someone who can help you to do something about it. Maybe this is your plea for help, but honestly there are better resources than us.
This being said, the 1st ammendment rights apply here just as they do anywhere else. So speak your mind dissafected and affected alike.

eTgen's picture

The age of Hyperbole

I shan't doubt for a second that people have a horrible miserable lives. But to every thing there are limits. There are the boundaries of common sense, which most people live in. But Alas!- we live in the age of hyperbole- exaggeration. In everyplace I go people exaggerate the mundane. The two people in front of you at the book store who made you wait, in truth, for only 2 minutes longer is transformed into a story of woe and misery, of war and battle cry as they "broke in front" of you- nay they stole your books! For three whole hours you battled on the plain of B&N! But in the end victory was granted to you as you slew the evildoers and purchased your novels (with Visa, of course)!

Such a story is good with in the setting of jest, but in the setting of support it is ludicrous.

Verily, truth can be spoken. Need one really exaggerate to the point of hyperbole? On this site, stories of woe and self-mutilation are welcome, but let us not elevate it to some ridiculous claim of crack addicted spurious sexually-fluid children with grotesque parental units!



Leisa's picture


Never cease to amaze me. I am in awe of the talent and intellect we have on this site. Kudos Etgen.

jeff's picture


The site is for what people need at any given moment, and that constantly changes.

There were many sites on the old oasis that mentioned cutting, and although that has never been something I understand, I think it is good for people to vent about it and others to realize they are not alone in doing things like that.

I would prefer people just coming out not rush to label themselves at all, but if they do and bi works for them, that's cool. Some may eventually settle on gay, and many will stick with bi. If I don't like a post, I just click the back arrow and be done with it. And until ya'll pony up some cash, it's still my server space. :-)

The main thing I learned about Oasis and in doing this for 7 years is that despite what we think or believe about other people's lives, it isn't my place or anyone else's to question the validity of their situation. As for posting "bullshit," I have heard way too many times over the years from people who posted a one-stanza poem on Oasis (and I've NEVER been a fan of gay teen poetry) and looking back at it from sometimes a year later and marking that as their impetus to come out. Knowing they posted it online gave them courage to make steps offline.

So, if someone wants to post something that doesn't quite interest me, but it helps them in their personal life, I'll take that trade-off. There were 600+ sites on the previous Oasis, many weren't regularly updated of course, but I'd like to think that each one of those people got something out of their time here. Even if i got nothing out of their time here. The further we get from being youth, the less impact it has on us.

So, let the 14 year olds fall in love, and do what they want, post all they want about it, and they will be read by other 14 y/os going through the same thing. Adrian is building something into the new site where you can sort blogs by age, so if the youngins aren't cutting it for you, don't read them.

But by all means, we should never silence them.


DiamondDog's picture

More or less

I agree it isn

sneezing gurl's picture

Ignorance can come handy.

Live and let live. If you can't watch someone pick their boogers close your eyes :P!

linds's picture

just in case...

While I agree with JB, in it's not particularly great to read all this stuff, and with Jules about hindering recovery, it's important to remember that we all have our own dramas. As much as I might wish to be drama-free, it's impossible for me and for anyone else.

That said, I offer up the following resources, for those who might need them. Oasis is a place for free expression, but there are web sites and so on out there that are specifically dedicated to interpersonal support.

Gay is OK! A Gay Teen Suicide Website

InsideOUT: Peer Support for GLBTQ Youth (the rest of is also worth a look)

If you are in the NYC area, check out the Youth Enrichment Services at The Center. They have drop-in counseling, for example. They also have a School Survival Guide that would be helpful for anyone.


jules's picture


Just to clarify...I never said nobody should write about self-injuring. Just that self-reflexivity with respect to triggering effects on others should be exercised.


UntilWeMeetAgain's picture


I was "bi" at 14 (grew up Roman Catholic in a "perfect" family, so if I said I was gay then...I would be dead and I'm not kidding.), I've been in an extremely abusive home (unnoticed by authorities), I was homeless for 6 months, and I am a cutter. I am severely against your condemning attitude. While I do understand your point, I think you should be more accepting. Some people (such as myself) cannot help the drama that is their lives. Whether it is real or not, it is real in some strange way to them or they would not have written it. Even pathological liars lie for a reason.....

I am now 21 years old, in recovery, and engaged to a wonderful girl. Yeah, I'll admit it now. I am a lesbian. I have problems and when I was 14 or 15, I DID whine about killing myself, etc. Heck, I still do sometimes on my xanga site. But that doesn't mean those kids don't need support all the same. And teeny-boppers are 12-13 years old... Get your terms straight! Most of those people are on (Which by the way has a very good Self-Injury Message board, I would recommend to any cutter who uses Oasis. My name is KDKat5 on bolt.)