The Great Lesbian Haircut Conspiracy

DiamondDog's picture

The scene: Paris, 1927. A time of the great writers Gertrude Stein and Ernest Hemingway.

Heingway, unbeknownced to Gertrude and Alice, has been bad mouthing the pair to anyway who will listen. (In legend, this is because Gertrude was seducing one of his wives with Alice's brownies. This is legend of course.)

Gertrude and Alice go to their barbar, but to their horror he has left town. Gertrude complains about this bad luck to her 'friend' Ernest who reccomends his personal barber who tends to his entire family. He is thanked and the couple goes on their way. Ernest calls ahead and askes for a bit of a practical shave their heads.

Gertrude sits down and is shorn and Alice follows. However, the plan backfires and the now lighter couple reccomends the barber to all their friends, thusly the lesbian community at large.

The barber shares his findings in an article called "Inverts and Hairdressing" regarding his new clientele and thusly, this hair stereotype has clung to the lesbian community since.



Luke's picture


That is a highly likely theory! I say, we somehow get our hands on a time machine, or a time unicycle, anything, go back, and reverse the trick on Hemmingway! Mwahaha! We shall have our revenge!
Also, was I the only one bored by "The Autobiography of Alice B. Tolkas"? I just don't know if I like Gertrude's writing style, but thats the only thing I've read by her. And it seemed rather self-praising and arrogant. No worries:)

linds's picture


Ida, Three Lives, or "Lifting Belly". I don't like the Autobiography as much as I like other stuff... I love "As a wife has a cow a love story", especially if you can find a copy that reprints it with the original drawings -- really lovely.

And while I currently sport a haircut that defies this conspiracy, well, it's real, eh? Bad hair abounds. And the worst part is, one thinks it is decent hair... if not good, well, at least all right...


DiamondDog's picture

Dining Dining is west. Do

Dining is west.

Do you have an interpretation of that work by Ms. Stein? Someday, I'm going to write a thesis on it.


Leisa's picture


Bless you.

Leisa's picture


I am rather fond of my hair, actually to be perfectly honest, I love my hair.

Dragon's picture

*pouts* mine is getting longe

*pouts* mine is getting longer... 4 whole inches! Ack!