Sometimes I wonder if what some people are saying is true. I have a friend who thinks I'm gay just for the attention it brings me. Whenever she brings it up, I always ask her why I would choose to live my life like this? Why would I publicly say I'm gay, and have my parents unaccepting of me. To choose to get hate mail from people at school. To choose to be an outcast. I go to a school with less than 500 people in it, 10 miles from the Gulf of Mexico in South Louisiana. We live in the middle of nowhere! People here are split down the middle. They either accept me for who I am, or they make fun of me. Why would I chose to live like this. But sometimes I think maybe those people who this this is just something for me to get attention are right. You know how you have those speakers come to your church? And they get you so pumped up with the spirit? It's when those people come to speak that I start thinking that maybe it's just some ploy in my subconscience mind that made me do this. Then I start thinking about my boyfriend. He's SO wonderful! Our love for each other runs SO deep! When I think about him, I start to wonder what the heck is up with those people who tell me I'm a bad person because I'm gay! If only they could see the love between Julian and I! They would understand. But, there's no pleasing everyone. I just have to go on with my life knowing that what Julian and I have is right. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him! I love you Julian!