desert13's picture

In a valiant effort to avoid narcissism and talk about someone other than myself, I'm going to describe the life of Andrew, a crush of mine.

I happen to see Andrew everywhere. He doesn't go to my school anymore. He doesn't live anywhere near me. But I've seen him in random places three times in the past month:

1) Military Ball - He was sitting at my table.

2) At school - He was dropping by to say hello to a friend.

3) At a restaurant tonight. He was on a "blind date," apparently. He was lucky, his date was hot.

Andrew just doesn't understand that we're meant for each other. Why else do we keep seeing each other under such strange circumstances? Actually, he didn't see me tonight - I didn't go near him because I was mad with envy. I go to a homophobic private school and he goes to a big public school with "plenty of hot guys." In other words, my chances of a weekend date are 1 in 3,453 while his are 3 in 5.

My goal is to have a boyfriend by prom. I want to take a guy just to piss my school off. And if I don't find another flamer to go with me, I'll just take David. He's not gay, but he's close enough.