so yeah. so, maybe im psychotic. maybe thats it. it could be it. probably it. FUCK IT! alright. so yeah, he's ONLY my friend. and i dont want him to be more than my friend. he makes a good just friend. but, ugh. and yeah, he's cute. and emotionally identical to the only guy i've ever loved. yeah, freakin' off, and sorta homosuperior, but yeah, thats not the point. and maybe he acts so nonchalant because i act psychotic so i dont have to be real. and maybe he gets that. probably not. yes, brilliant, but in a way, dumb as shit. anyway. I DONT LIKE HIM, and i cant explain it. why i think i should i dont know. oh well. and maybe he could try to be warm. though, he is warm to me in his own way. oh well. i quit.