The momevent to free Oompa Loompa land...

eTgen's picture

Greeting all,

I am glad to see that many of you are starting to realize the atrocities of the Capitalistic Despot Willy Wonka and Associates. I, as CEO, founder and first member, urge you to join my movement. Currently I am accepting applications for several posts. As it stand here is a rundown of the current position.

President and CEO: eTgen
Vice President and Drug Tzar: JB
Historian: Jules

If you would like to hold a position, or simply be a member, please leave your resume here or pm or im me. We need to bring the terrible evils of Capitalistic Despot Willy Wonka to the forefront of the public.

Thank you for your time,

eTgen

CEO, President, Founder, and First member of:

The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

[TMTFOLLFTTROTECDWWAA]

Luke's picture

Finally!

I've been wanting a job, but did not want to feel like a complete loser! Well, I probably still do, but too bad! I have always been a huge anti-fan of Willy Wonka, and am completely convinced that he is planning a world take over from his rediculous glass elevator (which can be paralleled to the glass ceiling). I also have opposed capitalism at every turn, being the only socialist in my Econ class. I am also a fan of literature, ice cream, and Don Hertzfeldt. No worries, and thank you for your consideration.-Luke

eTgen's picture

Security General

Dear one "Luke" (if that really is your name):

I am pleased to inform you that after careful consideration your application has been accepted. You have been placed in charge of Security. Your job is prevent Willy Wonka sympathizers into our organization. You will also be head of the Security Council which will met at your orders and issue important sounding documents using lots of words and silly phrases that sound impressive.

You may officially adopt your title as signature when you feel ready.

Thank you

eTgen
---
CEO, President, Founder, and First member of:

The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

[TMTFOLLFTTROTECDWWAA]

Luke's picture

Thank you

I respectfully accept. No worries:)-Luke

DiamondDog's picture

I would most certainly like t

I would most certainly like to be involved in this, preferably in the position of press secretary or public relations.

Do I have to memorize the acronym though?

I'm always available for IMing...

ne1zlove
*Achoo*

linds's picture

position...

"Special Advisor on Chocolate Issues"

I'm well-qualified, honest. :-)

~Linds

raverboymikey's picture

I want the Oompa Loompas to be free!

I want the Oompa Loompas to be free! They deserve to be this way! Mr. Wonka is taking his hate of African Americans and focusing it on these Oompa Loompas!

adbak's picture

Harumph!

Harumph!

eTgen's picture

Where we stand

Thank you all for the applications and congratulations to all those who have joined forces for freedom. Here is a current roster of where we stand. We are still accepting applications.

President and CEO: eTgen
Vice President and Drug Tzar: JB
Historian: Jules
Chief Right Hand Woman: Leisa
Chief Lawyer: metrored
Special Envoy to Tea-Drinking Nations: Linds
Security General: Luke
Press Secretary: Diamonddog

Please join our cause.

latterz,

eTgen
---
CEO, President, Founder, and First member of:

The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

[TMTFOLLFTTROTECDWWAA]

Dragon's picture

Hrm, I don't know what I'm go

Hrm, I don't know what I'm good at... You recommend a post and I most likely will gladly accept!! Down with W.W. Up with the Oompa Loompas!!!
~dragon fairy~

Jillie's picture

Willie Wonka is cool

I know this will be an unpopular opinion, but I like Willie Wonka. He disposed of several annoying, bratty children and did so with good humour. He saw the goodness in Charlie and rewarded him for it, despite his dumbass grandfather. I do agree with you on the point that he is using the Oompa Loompas as slave labour, they're his little bitches, but he provides them with food and shelter and protection from the evil creatures in Oompa Loompa land that they were desperately trying to escape in return for their services. It's a fair exchange.

A sidenote: Hey Grandpa Joe: Your family's starving! Get a job! I don't believe that your jumping out of bed and dancing around was a miracle, I think you were too damn lazy to help out your family.

Raining_Cloud's picture

Hey, man, Grampa Joe is cool.

Hey, man, Grampa Joe is cool...and it's Loompaland:-P

Jillie's picture

Grampa Joe was an Ass

Come on. He jumps out of bed and starts dancing around, proving he needn't be a burden on the family any more. So, what does he do instead of going out and getting a job so maybe Charlie's parents don't have to consume Grampa George for substinence because they can't afford food? He goes on a happy, fun adventure, denying any of the other family members a chance to do so. Oh that trip, he convinces Charlie to drink the crazy, bubbling liquid, which not only almost costs Charlie the chocolate bars that he desperately needs to keep himself from ecoming like one of the starving Ethiopians, but almost cost him his life. Grampa Joe is a leech and a troublemaker, never doing anything useful for the family. He made one amusing comment("She wants a good kick in the pants") as opposed to Willy Wonka's many perfectly timed and perfectly delivered comic gems ("No. stop. come back." being my personal favourite). Overall, Grampa Joe was a burden on the Buckets and Willy Wonka was not only their savior, forgiving Charlie for his grandfather's vile mischief and misdeeds, but the savior of the Oompa Loompas, providing them with free housing and employment and saving them from the Vermicious Knids.
Taking this evidence into consideration, I declare Willy Wonka "da man".

adrian's picture

can i be

webmaster and subversive brainwashing materials expert?

eTgen's picture

Indeed

Mr. Adrian,

I was so excited that I have finnaly recieved your application. You of course shall be made what you request with your official title as found below.

Adrian: Lord Master Supreme of Webcode and Chairmen on the Depsrtment of Truthful Documents for The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

Sincerely,

eTgen
---
CEO, President, Founder, and First member of:

The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

[TMTFOLLFTTROTECDWWAA]

adrian's picture

thank you

As did Luke, i dutifully accept my role and hope to be of service.

---
Princess Adrian.
Lord Master Supreme of Webcode and Chairmen on the Department of Truthful Documents for The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

nicki_m's picture

4giv me, but...

am i being really stupid or are you talkin about willy wonka and the chocolate factory? with th kids all falling into food and machinery and stuff?

Renfaerie's picture

where do I sign up?

JK, but I really do want to join. W.W. had no sympathy for those kids. He's brainwashing them though the chocolate, so they'd fall under his control. He then uses them as a giant army to take over the world. Well, that did make sense in my head. oh well. What can I do?
Spy? Locator of secret bases of Willy Wonka operations? hey that sounds like a cool job...anyway, anxios to get a piece of that dirty scumbag..err..

Craves_Blood's picture

Signing up

Free Ommpa loompa Land! Hehe...I love the Ommpa loompas..
I can't think of a position, so can I be a member?

.:Tasha:.

JB's picture

WWW ---Willy Wonka War

The UN has been petitioned to make a resolution for willy Wonka to oopne his candy compund to inspections... more to follow...

JB
Vice President and Drug Tzar of The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

Jillie's picture

I am psychic

I see them not finding anything, and then George W. Bush bombing the factory, injurying and killing many of the Oompa Loompas. I see that he will try to justify this by using platitudes and fear tactics in his increasing addresses to the nation. He will declare a rolling victory, and looting and chaos erupt in the magical factory. Then everyone will forget about it, and the crude chocolate business will skyrocket.

el's picture

i wanna join

i'd very much like to be a member, post completely optional.

BTW, since i'm pretty new, would somebody care to elaborate on the movement?? whatever it is, i'd join. yeah, i'm that desperate. lol

Jacob17's picture

Please!

Let me be the press rep/photographer!!

Tiki's picture

plain chocolate only please

I didn't see this thread and wondered how all this happened...but now i understand. I'm happy to be something like:

Lactose Intolerance Advice Resource (Code name: L.I.A.R.)

Dreaming of the Blue Hawaiian Diner...

tigerandamy's picture

Free the Oompa Loompas

I can't think of a position so can I be a member?

Kris :)

Robert's picture

My Resume

Dear eTgen:

I cannot begin to communicate the joy I experienced upon finding this movement. I believe I could serve the cause in many ways. I would like to be the Prime Minister of Goatkeeping if that position is still available. I can also retrieve coffee. I hope I am not to late to join the movement. Thank you.

Emilie

goatsrock's picture

*begins singing the oompa loompa song*

E-gads, it's good to see someone starting a movement for the poor abused little Oompa Loompas! They are, of course, the coolest little dudes around... I'd be proud to serve, if you still need people. :)

(ahem)
Head of the Oompa Loompa Emergency Liberation Squad and Rescue Team, subsection of organized Chaos, Mischief, and Mayhem.

Thank you.

Raining_Cloud's picture

Vermicious Knids

DOWN WITH WONKA! That slave-driver! Trying to justify horrible working conditions by saying that he saved them from awful Vermicious Knids....Let's try to convince Charlie to give them better work hours, a share of the chocolate, and better uniforms.

Applying for the position of Head Spokesperson for the Betterment of Oompa Loompa Society

Boygasm's picture

Tim Burton

Tim Burton is said to direct his own version of Willy Wonka after he finsih BIG FISH. They (WARNERS BROTHERS) are still trying to decide who would direct the remake of Willy Wonka. So dont be surpised !!!!