words hurt

out of the flames's picture

i feel like going into a corner and hidding. i am so ashamed and i feel like such a freak.
with a couple of small words she made everything clear. our friendship was a sham. i even went a long like i undertsand, i nodded my head, like of course, thats so true. when now hours, days latters i understand it now, it has processed now. she made me feel like a freak and i played it off like of course i am, i completly understand.
I feel so evil and odd. so out of place, like is everyone like her? i just wish i coule love me for who i am again, i wish i wasn't so ashamed of myself.
I wish i had never fully procesed what she had said, actted like it was all ok, like i was normal, this was normal and everything was perfect. I am, not normal, this is wrong and everything is fucked up. Oh how is wish, i wish so much, but nothing ever comes of it