A first person short essay

Kotonashi's picture

Fuck school and fuck all these immature and uncomfortable parasites invading what could potentially have been my happy being. I'm 17 now and life hasnt ever looked so bleak... I've decided that since my love life is next to extinct, I'd attempt living it through my friends who are on the verge of loving big, and through my short and unfinished fitcional dreams.

Looking in the mirror each day is a battle, and often times, a losing one. Looking down at my dated scale is also like reading a predictable story, always ending up the way you expected, and never as good as you hoped. Calling him on the phone every night is like being naked on stage in front of the entire world, a fresh cut wound everytime he doesnt answer or when he does, like diving into an ice-cold pool, blindfolded, anxious and scared.

The people here are by far the worst of all the nuances of modern day living. Acting like freshly exposed, and close minded, children. The thought of any taboo is always a thoguht that brings a malignant smirk to their lit up and childishly naieve faces. Their cold hearted and uncaring remarks unearthing old pains and scars from my past.

In conclusion, people are cold and uncaring. Life is merely a depressing play filled with false hopes and unrealities. A mere passing of souls, from the forced entrance into this cruel world to the greedily waited upon end. As for the living vessels that transport the hosts, only the ones created perfectley find life a game and find life enjoyable. I hope you like your lives. Fuck you all.

Comments

amy's picture

....? "In conclusion, peo

....?

"In conclusion, people are cold and uncaring. Life is merely a depressing play filled with false hopes and unrealities"

I say life has a lot of bad in it and people say things that hurt but there are good times too. live for the good times. If you think that life sucks and there is no hope it will probaly be like that. Thats the way things work, you have to make it better yourself.

I know your not just talking about the bus ride but that seems like a signifigant part of your post. SO fuck the people on the bus. That doesnt mean you have to have that attitude towards people in general though.

I hope your ok

johnno's picture

mmm

i see we have an optimist in the building!

suffragettecity's picture

Not to make you more unhappy,

Not to make you more unhappy, but you could look at your angst as just being a sign of the times. Life gives you shit sometimes, but that doesn't mean it has to be read like the words to yet another lyrically homogenous Limp Bizkit song. As you get older (not much older, in fact), you'll look back at your high school-era angst and wonder what the hell you ever had to be so pissed about. Your past relationships that ended in disaster won't really matter anymore, and you'll have the pleasure of knowing that all those homophobic jocks have not and probably will not grow as people, like in "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion."

If you're getting beaten up or harassed on a daily basis, that's different, but this misanthropy you're feeling is only temporary and will probably have disappeared completely by the time you're 20. Believe me, there are plenty of people out there who've got a lot more to be angry and misanthropic about than angst-ridden American high school kids. Take a look at this page on The Onion's Website - maybe it'll put things in perspective?