There never seems to be enough hugs, yet there is always enough pain. Its a cycle thats vicious but so a live that it will forever continue. No matter how much good I encounter, I come across twice as much bad. I dont understand how this works.
My family is slowly falling apart. Once one problem is fixed, three more inevitably take its place. It happens over and over again. I just want to run away from it all. Every last part of it. NEVER EVER come back and NEVER EVER deal with this murderous bullshit that kills me slowly.
I am sure I have it pretty good compared to others. I know I do. I know that right now, my life is ten times better than half the people out there. I am grateful for that. I have survived enough of the shit that is lurking out there to know when to be grateful and when to hold a grudge. But hells, right now there is just so much bad coming at me at one time, I dont think I can handle it all. I just dont have the energy to fight it.
I dont know. Its like, I have this cloud of negativity following me and when it sees something going right, it has to rain down upon me and ruin it.
::sighs:: I need something positive. Something to run out the bad. I need to write or something. Cya later.
"Its like being locked in the back of a taxi and watching out the back window as everything you know gets left behind."