G.A.Y clubs

alice's picture

I was speaking to my friend (who is straight) who was speaking to her gay male friend who wants to take ther to a gay club, preferably G.A.Y in old compton street, near Soho in London.
She was saying that to get into gay clubs you need to dress gay, and if you don't look like your gay they won't let you in. Is this true?
and if it is, how can you tell weather someone is gay just by looking at them, surely they would end up turning down loads of homosexuals just because they didn't look sterotypical. Personally I find it really difficult to tell who are femmes and who is actually straight, so if the people at the club couldn't tell who femmes were then you'd have a club full of guys and butches.

She also said that to get into gay clibs you have to be able to name lesbian magazines or answer questions to prove that you are gay. Is this true?
Or does it depend on where you go?

Also, what do people think about straight people going to gay clubs if they are not going to meet people of the opposite sex or going with a date?

adrian's picture

i have no problem

with breeders provided they're respectfull and realize that they are on our turf, and hence must play by our rules (drop those pants boys).

R.O.A.R : right of admission reserved.

any club, straight or gay, has the right to bounce you if they feel you don't fit into their wanted clientelle.

Princess Adrian.
Lord Master Supreme of Webcode and Chairmen on the Department of Truthful Documents for The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

Scruffy the Vampire Slayer's picture

that club is kinda big isn't it?

hey isn't that club G.A.Y like a big celeb place too? I remember hearing Christina Aguilera did a show there. which some people think is lame ass city but not me!
"The hardest thing in this world is to live in it" Buffy- The Gift

Tiki's picture

i could offer a gnvq in this.

okaaaaaay here we go: the english gay scene demystified:

1. it's not looking 'gay' it's looking like the music. i dj a gay punk nite and gay punks look like all the other punks. but they don't look like drumnbass or hiphop or dance ppl. most gay clubs like heaven and g.a.y. in london play cheezy pop and dance, including the holy trinity of kylie, madonna and steps. people that dance to this stuff tend to wear 'dirty'wash tight jeans with a bit of a flare, and either shiny shirts with buttons or tight tshirts with 'clever' (til you've seen em a million times) logos on and spiky hair. just the nature of the music. since the gay scene is predominantly male and pop/dancey, there's where your image comes from. at the clubs i go to regularly, anything goes, even trainers (sneakers, americans!) even daywear, even some sk8r style or punk stuff, sometimes drag (usually men). and the're not gonna turn you away. basic rule of thumb is the same as any pub or club - if you act underage they won't let you in. if you're smoking weed inside, they'll kick you out. they WANT your money - remember that.

2. the candy bar is the only club i've heard of where there's pressure to look like you've just walked off the set of sex in the city. and i think that's more hype than truth. queers aint stupid and club owners aren't going to turn u away. remember the part about the money in rule 1.

3. it's possible this is a northern thing, (and lesbian bars are sticter than mixed ones for opposite sex entry) but ppl are either assumed gay or welcome anyway - the local bar, club nites etc have got str8 ppl in them, but usually there's a reason, like a m8, or a work do, or fag hags. (see rule 4.) No harm done, and no one gives a shit. In an ideal world of course there wouldn't have to be a need for gay clubs and magazines just like there wouldn't have to be a need for ebony magazine or the black entertainment network - mainstream media should be more mixed and inclusive rather than straight and white. and culturally based media could be a choice rather than a necessity. if everybody's happy, don't worry about the hetties. (some of my best friends r straight!)

4. faghags. don't like getting hassled in straight clubs, just got out of a bad relationship and are avoiding those horrid straight men, have the apparently now requisite gay best friend, prefer dancing to snogging, have a kylie obsession, whatever. whoever these ppl are, they can be annoying. some trendy gay guys who are in some eternal will and grace loop will ignore their lesbian friends and chill with the jack and karen trendster concept instead. sometimes don't handle it well when they're hit on. you can usually spot a fag hag tho cos they cling to their gay men and pose with them most of the night. also tend to dance round their handbags. (also tend to HAVE handbags.)

5. straight women in gay clubs also exist who are actually normal and not codependent or homophobic and don't care where they club or who hits on them, and can handle all situations gracefully, including a drunken chick snog or curious gay bloke grope.

6. while we're talking about women - forget the whole butch femme thing. it's over. there are women who act 'butch' and look 'femme'. there's the reverse. there's a million things in between. you'll see someone you fancy and she may have short hair, she may be 40, she may be playing pool, she may be the one lesbian in the place with a handbag and hoop earrings on, but there you go - we're a diverse people. we're like...the MOST diverse people. enjoy it. :) go in a group, dance in a group, include a few fit likely looking women in the group, accept a snog if it's going, have a fucking laugh!!!

there u go. six rules. :) you might also want to try Out Cafe for lunch - it's a gay cafe. daytime entertainment. or sh! women's erotic gift shop - it's all lesbian/women only/men if accompanied by responsible woman. those are other gay places in london that aren't clubs, if you want to practise first. or try gay nites at london universities (or visit your friends at other unis around the country and go to their lgb nites for a younger crowd, smaller scene, more chilled out atmosphere).

right alice!!! (and anyone else in england reading this) enjoy the gay scene! over and Out! :)


Dreaming of the Blue Hawaiian Diner...

alice's picture

Thanks Tiki

Thanks for clearing things up. I'm glad that the whole femme butch thing is not so predominant (if at all anymore) as it was just confusing because I don't identify as either. I'm also gald that rule no 1 exists where you can go to a club in what you wear normally (that's right isn't it?) providing you go to the right place.
Are these rules you made up or is there this 6 rule thing people talk about.
Also, I was under the impression that clubs only want your money so they would want a good image and would therefore be really picky about who they let in and wouldn't let you in if you didn;t look right as they could get custom elsewhere. You seem to contracdict this which is good.

and i will also look on the internet for this, but if anyone knows where Out cafe or ne other places that are not clubs in london are please say ie so can be looked up in an A to Z. I may live i London, but it doesn't mean I know where any of the 'gay' places are. Please excuse my ignorance I am learning these things along with what preconceptions I have heard and the reality of them


Tiki's picture

more more more

what does eddie izzard say? 20% what you say and 80% how you say it? I made those rules up off the top of my head. but they're worth saving so i'll post em on my site some time. :) if you look at these sites:
poptastic (a northern gay club chain which is pretty good and v studenty.)
nightingales (not the best rated brummy gay club)
you'll see that the kind of clientele portrayed in the club photo galleries is their ideal, but really not everyone looks like that. Also, some more male-centric clubs tend to try to be more inclusive of women in the photos to get more lesbians to go to them, even though i believe nightingales is pretty scene-queeny with not a lot of women. poptastic is very studenty-looking, which is cool from a 'not having to spend a lot of time getting ready' point of view, but you do get odd looks when out in town dressed normally at night from varioius str8 bimbos wearing what appear to be hankies tied to them with string stagger about on spike heels and their drunk ben sherman shirt wearing dates, as they wonder why you don't look and act just like them. other than that, :) it's all good.

Gingerbeer is good for lesbian london, and you should be able to look up both Sh! and the OUT cafe.

And gay.com takes a bit of trawling thru but once you get past the seedy adverts and random postings, there's good news coverage and scene coverage.

At this rate you'll all be jedi masters. Gee, who knew little old me was a society dyke?

Dreaming of the Blue Hawaiian Diner...

alice's picture

Jedi knights

Dear society dyke,

one day I too, with the aid of your teachings may perhaps become a jedi master in the king(and queen)dom of the society of dyke/dykettes/fag/fagettes. You have taught well and your wisdom shall be passsed on through socail groups and years. A legend of a league of jedi knights who will one day scour the kingdom and surrounding lands recruiting new youngens to train in the art of teching people in the ways of where to go, etiquitte and socail rules.
(on both knees kissing the feet of the teacher) We are not worthy

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J's picture

about the gay clubs.

All the gay clubs I have been to anyone can go. My boss and some of my straight friends love coming with me and they don' "lool" gay at all if there is such a thing. I think that if some clubs don't let you in unless they really think you are gay that is taking a step in the wrong direction because they are discriminating against that specific group of people just like gays were dicriminated against for a long time.
Personally I love that some straight people feel comfortable enough and support the gay culture enough to go to gay clubs. The thins I have always like about gay clubs is that people can be whoever they want to be there. Straight, gay, bi, it doesn't matter. Everyone is welcome and that is not always the case at so called "straight" clubs.