My 'day of silence'

amy's picture

I guess today was the day of silence from reading other posts.. Sorta weird considering for me the last two days of my life have been some of the worsts for homophobic remarks. Yesterday the whole bus incident and today my body felt like it died. I didnt get much sleep last night cause I was up writing a paper half the night. I guess my body wasnt ready to deal with school. Scott didnt show up for school today so I had to sit alone during class. Football players on my left and freshman on my right. The freshman started doing imitations of gay males. It bothered me but I just continued doing my work. Then I looked over and the girl next to me was pointing at me and mouthing that I was a lesbian to a girl across the room. They all started laughing and I just couldnt deal with it. I got up and went to the bathroom. I started crying as I walked down the hallway, I felt dizy and my sight became distorted. It felt like I was walking through a still portrait and that I was a foreinger to a place of aliens or other beings that I couldnt relate to. I guess the name for what I felt was depersonalization/derealism. It just hadnt happened to me for quite a while. I had to go home and just lay in bed. I couldnt deal with it. Maybe I should go back on my meds. Im not sure. I guess ill just have to see what happens. Congrats to the people that participated in the day of silence though.I wish I had your courage.

Comments

Beryl's picture

Hey honey...

Sorry you had such a bad day. Don't feel bad that you can't participate right now. You got to take into account its taken some of us years to get to this point too. So just take your time hun, your not being a 'bad gay' or anything.
My only words of advise on the matter of idiots is to tell them to go screw a camel, but seeing as A) thats not very usefull advise and B) I don't know about you, but we are in a distinct lack of camels around here, I won't be offended if you don't follow it. ^_^

Just remember you're not alone, (you hardly could around here, but you know how I mean...) there are people going through the same struggle you are, and someday you'll probably meet some of them. There are people who are willing to exept you for who you are, and we really wish we could be there with you, so try not to let the camel people bring you down!

*hug*
~B

Renfaerie's picture

sorry...

I've got people in my school to that do stupid shit like that. It brings me down for a while but I don't let set in. So try keeping up your spirits.
good luck
-Angel

amy's picture

thanks guys, i took today off

thanks guys, i took today off today and chilled. it would be nice to have a camel:P