OASIS-GATE!!!!! THE OFFICIAL THREAD!!!! POST HERE!!!!

Tiki's picture

Feeling the unbearable urge to post a comment on someone's blog? Unable to resist temptation? Find yourself giving in and clicking on the 'add new comment' button as if drawn by some sort of strange blue clicky animal magnetism?

RIGHT! Now you have no excuse - this is the official 'hot thread' for inciting mayhem, dispute and debate regarding ANY oasis-related drama, gossip, scandal, etc. Post your potentially iffy comments here! And not on the blogs! In the forums instead! I'm a vigilante! A vigilante! I'm X-ray Cat! I can see thru wood! (Sorry, in my insomniac haze I've become Tom Green. I'll go.)

"Cloppety clop! Listen to my hooves!"

DiamondDog's picture

My blog, my blog, my blog is

My blog, my blog, my blog is on your lips. And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss...

Press secretary for The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

eTgen's picture

Hush Hush

Dear Reader,

Famed oasis big-time, JB, has declared that he will limit one post a week! What will this mean for his online affair? Rumour has it, dear reader, that JB has broken up with long time boyfriend Adrian, over an issue dealing with "Champagne, a toaster, Tea, and Lesbians." However, we have it one good faith, dear ones, that the reason for the breakup has do with long-time flirt of JB: etgen. When called for comment, etgen simply said "no comment". But the story does not stop there, it appears that etgen and JB have been cheating on each other- with the same person. Leisa. Apparently, etgen proposed to Leisa, minutes after Leisa proposed to JB, and accepted both. But if that was not bad enough, Leisa suggest to etgen shortly after his proposal that he (etgen) should have JB as a best man. Also it appears as if Leais has sent an invitation to Adrian, former lover of JB, to be her maid's in waiting.

Developing....

Remember folks you heard it here first. On the QT. and very Hush Hush.

DiamondDog's picture

And what of DiamondDog's secr

And what of DiamondDog's secret feelings of passion for Leisa so far in distance, but so close in spirit? How will she handle the envy and jealousy of the two gay men who stole her heart?

Press secretary for The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

hol's picture

top secret

the tea drinking lesbians had nothing to do with this....

"we did not have sexual relations with that JB...." LOL.

And that *did* not lead to terminal relations with Adrian; Leisa is an angel.

~hol

Leisa's picture

Taking into consideration all

Taking into consideration all the allegations made here today, that I am an angel, that I am having an affair with not one, but two gay men, and that Diamonddog has harbored a secret love for me across the land, I officially state, that I have no comment. :-) Have a most wonderful day.

Chief Political Right Hand Woman to Ceo, Founder and First Member of The Movement to Free Oompa Loompa Land from the Tryanicall Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka

Leisa's picture

Special Bulletin

So I have it on good authority, that Mr. JB and Mr. etgen were having a phone conversation that was anything but casual, if you know what I mean. Taking their affair to a previously unexplored level. Stay tuned for other breaking news developments.

Chief Political Right Hand Woman to Ceo, Founder and First Member of The Movement to Free Oompa Loompa Land from the Tryanicall Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka

DiamondDog's picture

It's just propaganda for Diam

It's just propaganda for Diamond Dog to get a head in.

Press secretary for The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

eTgen's picture

Official Statement...

I can not confirm nor deny any telephone conversation- nor can I comment at this time on the content of the alleged conversation.

That is all.

Thank you.

eTgen
---
CEO, President, Founder, and First member of:

The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

[TMTFOLLFTTROTECDWWAA]

JB's picture

Etgen's empty wallat

It has come to the attention of JB thro my vast network or Intellegnce agents (even your mother works for me, so does your lamp and chair) that etgen, has been relegated to mysterious trips to the 4th floor washroom of his school for "extra curicular" activites to helpsupplement his lagging income. It is rumors that Since he is Not regularly Passing GO! and collecting 0 that he has resorted to this. when asked, Etgen flatly denied it "I flatly deny everything and all about mysterious trips to the 4th floor" stated etgen. However, he has been known to stretch the truth.........

JB
Vice President and Drug Tzar of The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

*said in a positive manner and not to be constrewed as negative feedback, sorry

eTgen's picture

Official Statement...

Ladies and Gentlemen of Oasis. I would like to read an official statement that I have written in response to this crises.

The allegation that I, eTgen, have been having been running a for-profit "extracurricular" activity racket on the fourth floor Washroom are completely without solid fact and evidence. This is simply another example of the vast-pink chair conspiracy in an attempt to belittle my good name. I will not stand such skullduggery! As a respected member of society, I whole-heartily say that I have not had sexual relationship in or with that bathroom, the fourth floor. While it may be true that I do not pass go and collect 200$, I do not reduce myself to the tactics that some of those that surround me- most notably Georgie, my computer, and Philip, the Lamp. Have it be known that these traitors shall be punished to the fullest extent of eTgen code.

That is all.

Thank You

eTgen
---
CEO, President, Founder, and First member of:

The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

[TMTFOLLFTTROTECDWWAA]

JB's picture

Girl Band?

Thro the vast intellegence network of JB, There has been a shocking and disturbing revelation that surely will rock Oasis to Its core.
It has been revaled that Noted Lesbian Thread leader Leisa (if in fact that is her real name)has been secretly Conspireing with Two former members of the now defunt girl band "B*witched" to start a new as of now Un-named super Girl band. This explaines Leisa's Noted absence during the " Oasian Bisexual Scandal of April 2003". However it does not explain her coincidental absense of the "Lynn Grove Scandal of November 2002" events point to something perhaps more sinister then just a "girlband"

Updates as needed!

Vice President and Drug Tzar of The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates
*said in a positive manner and not to be constrewed as negative feedback, sorry in advanc

eTgen's picture

Open letter...

An open letter to Noted Lesbian Thread Leader Leisa:

Madam,

Your absence is a threat to the well-being of our tentative relationship. In your absence I am unable to make the appropriate wedding plans- as I do not know what color dress you will be wearing &c... If you truly care for this relationship, as I do, than I suggest that you immediately return to your duties. If you do not then I shall have to go elsewhere. There are several offers that are waiting for me here.

Your true(?) love,

eTgen
Washroom
c/o 4th Floor

Leisa's picture

An apology is not an admission of guilt.

Gentlemen,

I feel I owe an apology to you both. To JB, you know I love you more than my luggage(betcha don't know that quote). A romantic relationship between you and I would just never work out. You and I are more suited for doing *other* tasks together, you know the ones I'm talking about.
To my dearest etgen. I would marry you 10,000 times over, if it had not been brought to my attention recently the affections of a certain other Oasian. In fact, I am all for marriages of convenience or other circumstances. Its just that I haven't the heart to shatter another's. So I do apologize profusely. Also I send all my love to both you and JB regarding your budding relationship. You deserve all the happiness in the world.
Now, regarding the super-girl band allegations. I deny them completely. I am in no way going spice girl on you. Besides, any musical talent I have, only the shower knows. My absence during the * Cutter-bi Scandal of 2003* can be exlained simply. The weather was amazingly gorgeous the entire weekend, I was obliged to enjoy it.
Should there be any other lingering questions or comments feel free to contact me in any way shape or form you deem necessary.

Sincerely,
Leisa (the alleged Lesbian Thread Leader)

p.s. etgen, if you would like to still go ahead and marry for that certain financial gain, I'm still interested. We'll just have to come up with a good reason for an annulment shortly thereafter.

Chief Political Right Hand Woman to Ceo, Founder and First Member of The Movement to Free Oompa Loompa Land from the Tryanicall Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka

hol's picture

well

JB's cat's breath smells like cat food...

~hol

ps the cat's name is nutz

JB's picture

Think Of Th3 Children!

Nutz The Cat, Is not Inpressed with this slanderous revelation. Nutz The Cat will now be chewing Juicy Fruit After every meal. However that certainly does not explain why your breath smells of things unknown, and we ain't talin about Donair meat here Miss Hol!

Vice President and Drug Tzar of The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates
*said in a positive manner and not to be constrewed as negative feedback, sorry in advanc

hol's picture

moi?

My breath? It's odourless, but it is hot. yeeee-ouch! Turn up the a/c in here!!!

But I heard that Leisa is feeding Nutz a certain type of cat food, poision-laced, but not poisonous to Nutz, but to all those that stand in proximity to Nutz. When Nutz's breath grazes human skin, that human begins to emulsify, turning into a puddle of fatty goo. Apparently, this is Leisa's evil plot to take over JB's Oasian domain. I heard that she was none too impressed by JB's god-like stature.

Disclaimer: but this could all be a rumour.
~hol

Leisa's picture

Now now

Holly, you have that completely backwards. It is not the JB I am after. It is, in fact, the cat. I am highly allergic to all cats, and also am not fond of animals in general. So, next time you think you've got something figured out, maybe try and take a second look at your sources. ;-)

Chief Political Right Hand Woman to Ceo, Founder and First Member of The Movement to Free Oompa Loompa Land from the Tryanicall Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka

JB's picture

After my....

We here @ JB have known all along, due to our vast network of intelegence gathering, that Leisa has been infact after JB's Nutz!

Vice President and Drug Tzar of The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates
*said in a positive manner and not to be constrewed as negative feedback, sorry in advanc

Leisa's picture

OK, ok, I give up. You've fou

OK, ok, I give up. You've found me out. I am after JB's nutz, this whole existence at oasis has been a lie. I am, in fact, not a lesbian but rather I am straight, and am only after one thing from JB. And now back to our regularly scheduled programming, the network premier of Secrets and Lies.

Chief Political Right Hand Woman to Ceo, Founder and First Member of The Movement to Free Oompa Loompa Land from the Tryanicall Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka

hol's picture

well..

It has come to my attention that Nutz is not really a cat. Nutz is JB's pet name for the thing he strokes and loves to pet - all the time. Nutz is JB's pet name for his penis.

And now it is clear, that Leisa is after JB's penis. She wants to be the first lesbian to take a dildo to a "whole new level." Let us know how your test drive goes Leisa.

~hol

Leisa's picture

Holly,

A lady never tells.

Chief Political Right Hand Woman to Ceo, Founder and First Member of The Movement to Free Oompa Loompa Land from the Tryanicall Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka

hol's picture

raise a glass

Here here!!! All the cat hating lesbians unite!

I am now soliciting memberships to this club. You can submit your application via a new thread which you should put to my attention.

~hol

Jillie's picture

Some cats are evil...

... but i like others. Also cats are tough little buggers. In every fight where it was cat vs. dog, the cat has always come out on top. I know one cat that can hold her own against two fully grown german shepherds. The agressive nature of cats makes them quite evil. And a lot of them are openly quite hormonal and heterosexual. It's sick what lengths cats go to hump one another.

jules's picture

easy.

I can attest to the fact that she has great breath.

~Jules

______________

Historian of The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

Leisa's picture

Well well well

That is low, Miss Holly. I must say, I am quite disappointed in you, bringing the cat into this. ;-)

Chief Political Right Hand Woman to Ceo, Founder and First Member of The Movement to Free Oompa Loompa Land from the Tryanicall Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka

JB's picture

Nutz The Cat

Nutz The Cat Has Issued a Formal Statment. Its Is As follows.

I Nutz The cat, Have Issued a Stament thro Jb, Leader of a Vast Intellegence Network.

It has come to the attention of me, That my Validity as a Cat has been In question. These allegations are LIES! Lies spread By Leisa and her Penguin Army. A Regeime that Sympathizes with the Evil hol and Jules, Known Nympho-Maniacs! (However I Do applaud thier work with enslaveing my canine friends with dildos)

I am a REAL cat. I have Visual Aides, to prove my indentity. I may be 14, But I am still sharp and agile. I maye be Declawed in the front, however, It should be Noted to Leisa and her "Penguin Army" That if they continue thier agressive nature towards me, I Nutz The cat. I will scratch thier eyes out with my existing powerfull Back Claws.

In closeing, I would Like to Thank those who have Supported me, Both JB and Etgen. When I finally Snap, they will be protected from the wrath of my back claws and High Pitched meows!

Nutz The Cat

Leisa's picture

Alright! Fine!

I give up. I will no longer attempt to seize JB's Nutz (literally or figureatively). From now on I shall only use the Penguin Army forces for the good of Lesbiankind.

Chief Political Right Hand Woman to Ceo, Founder and First Member of The Movement to Free Oompa Loompa Land from the Tryanicall Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka

JB's picture

Penguin Army

I have learned thro my vast network or intellegence gathering, that Leisa, Famed Lesbian Thread Leader, has along with her Super Girl Band aspirations, has also been training an army of penguins. training for what you ask? to exterminate the worlds chicken populations. Leisa does not like chicken! We here at "JB Intel INC" have also learned in direct relation to this "Penguin Army" threat, That Indeed Leisa has been Bank rolling her "Penguin army" with proceeds from Nude Photo Shoots!

This truely is a revelation of the Nth Degree and shall definitly further threaten her relationsip with etgen...

Vice President and Drug Tzar of The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates
*said in a positive manner and not to be constrewed as negative feedback, sorry in advanc

linds's picture

the question is...

was Leisa posing, or shooting the photos? If she was the photographer, who was indulging in such behavior with her? :-)

~Linds

-----
Special Envoy to Tea-Drinking Nations for The Movement To Free Oompa Loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalistic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

Leisa's picture

Why don't you tell them who i

Why don't you tell them who it was Lindsey.

Chief Political Right Hand Woman to Ceo, Founder and First Member of The Movement to Free Oompa Loompa Land from the Tryanicall Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka

Leisa's picture

Dearest Spy

Now that you've exposed my secret penguin army I am forced to come up with a new plan. Do you know how much time and money this little setback will end up costing me? I hope you're satisfied with yourself.

Chief Political Right Hand Woman to Ceo, Founder and First Member of The Movement to Free Oompa Loompa Land from the Tryanicall Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka

JB's picture

Dildo the Dog?

We hre @ Jb have determined thro our vast network of intellegence gathering, That Jules has indeed started to enslave common house pets with her used Dildo's! This truely is a sad sad thing, however, Leisa, noted Lesbian Thread Leader, Has decided to get a franchise deal out of it. and Soon Poor Fido's everywhere will be chewing on a rubber dildo of thier own!

Vice President and Drug Tzar of The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates
*said in a positive manner and not to be constrewed as negative feedback, sorry in advanc