I was in an awful mood yesterday. I just keep hearing people use the word gay as something negative (at least six times a day) and I hear people in my classes talk about homosexuals. "if my son was gay, I'd kill him, I don't want no fucking homo in my life. Messed up fags. I'd tell him to go make pastries with his mom because he would obviously have more in common with her."
I'm just so sick of all this bullshit that comes up everyday. We are all minorities here hated for who we are. I just don't see the point in fighting this anymore. I feel bad about 40 percent of the time now. That's a little under twelve hours a day, maybe ten or so. My grades are going down, my parents think I need to go to a shrink. I'm losing it and I'm beyond help now. I'm afraid that one of these days, if I'm still alive, I'll end up in an asylum because I'll have some kind of nervous breakdown.
So many people belive that true love doesn't really exist anymore, and I tend to agree with them. I'm sick of the damned hormones in my brain making me want a relationship and all that crap. I'm thinking about finding a way to have part of my brain removed, there has to be a way. One of these days I'll be a walking breathing machine that doesn't have any emotional feelings anymore, people will want to stay away from me because i'm so messed up.
I'm going to stop talking now, I don't know what else to say. I feel a little better now that I've ranted. Thanks for listening, have a great day.