Hyperventilating......

Spirit1313's picture

Have you ever had one of those moments when all of a sudden you realize everything in your life is backwards? I just did....Now I am sitting here pondering. I am pondering what life just for the hell of it.
Sitting back and analyzing my life, I realize I am not happy. I am rather lost in fact. I dont even really have a real best friend. Sure I have those friends I am going to miss like hell when I go to college after next year, but they arent the kind I can tell everything. There is Amy. Shes cool. I have known her since I was a little kid. But she tends to forget about me every now and then. Thats just the way Amy is. Not really a fault. Just a mishap or a technicality in her personality.
I also realized I still like someone from about a month ago. Not exactly a good thing. But we got a long really well and we talked. We werent all over each other. Not like now. Now that I am in a relationship, I am not really happy. We dont talk, and I feel like I was, in a way, pushed into it. My friend just kinda said "Heres this kid your going on a date." and then everyone was like "Heres this kid you went on a date with, now you are going to be a couple." All because we were cute together. What kind of fucked up relation ship is that? But now I dont know how to well, I suppose get out of it. There are feelings there in that relationship, but it was so rushed that sometimes I just need to step back and just breathe. We dont even hang out all that often so that we can get to know each other. Its just one giant mess thats wreaking havoc. With this other person it was better. We enjoyed each other's company, we laughed, we had fun, I looked forward to the next time we got to hang out.
Well I suppose thats enough drama for now. Someone save me! Please?
~Lisa Faery~

Comments

Beryl's picture

Aw honey...

Im not really sure what to tell you... But I'll be here for you, however this madness turns out.

~B

Spirit1313's picture

Ok....

I have a question and you dont have to answer if u dont want to: What are/were your feelings toward me?
~Lisa Faery~

Beryl's picture

To be completely honest?

Ok, here we go. When you and Chris hooked up I was kinda sad and a bit jealous, ok, more than a bit jealous, but you seemed happy, and that was what was important, so I kinda stepped on it, and tried to look at you strictly as friend. Its one of my few talents, I guess you could call it. So for right now, I don't know. I'll need a couple days maybe, to think it over, and kinda open the box I put liking you in and see what happened while I left it alone. Im not really sure, but I guess I'll get back to you on that? (this feels so strange to be saying.... ack.)

~B

Spirit1313's picture

KO....

Its ok hun I understand...
~Lisa Faery~

Beryl's picture

Thanks hun...

If its anything, I really enjoy the time we spent together, both before and now. (even if Im not alowd on the island *pout*)

~B

Spirit1313's picture

Hey....

You were the one who was ignoring me and dragon! And making me all sad.....::pouts:: but I suppose you can join the island....Your cool enough....and a faery....Hehehehehe....I am so blonde.
~Lisa Faery~

Beryl's picture

No I didn't!

Im just multi-conversationally challenged, tis all! It gets to be to much for my poor abused brain when I have to hold more then one conversation equally, and half of talking to Chem and Bear is body language and funny faces. and then you get other people talking across the table.... Arg, its just to much. *sigh* Im just not as talented as you and Dragon.
Yeah! Thanks hun!

~B

Spirit1313's picture

Its not talent....

Its not talent at all....I think I am causing more problems than I am allowed to....I didnt mean to....I didnt mean for multiple things to happen....Damn, I really wish I wasnt such a screw up sometimes....
~Lisa Faery~

Beryl's picture

Shhh...

don't talk bad about yourself hun. Its more destressing than most anything else you've thrown at me yet. You are a wonderful person, and I mean that with all my heart.

~B

Spirit1313's picture

But I am right.....

I am very problematic...and cause you stress.....and if I was wonderful...than I wouldnt cause these issues as often as I do.....Grrumble....I really am sorry hun...
~Lisa Faery~

Beryl's picture

*snort*

You're expecting yourself to be perfect. Don't, a) its impossible, b) its highly over-rated, and c) its boring as all hell. We like you as is.
Wonderful can be problematic. Roller coasters aren't any less wondeful because my legs seem to be to shaky to walk after riding one, and thats problematic.

~B

Spirit1313's picture

Lol....

Nice analogy hun....= )
~Lisa Faery~