In Love With A Friend

carger's picture

Hello all! Before you read my little post, PLEASE read my personal info first! That will give you SLIGHTLY better insight to my personality.

About a week ago, my best friend spent the night at my house. We did the normal friend stuff: played video games, watched movies, fought each other, etc. etc. We went to bed, we slept (apart, I was on the floor, he was in my bed), but in the morning before my friend woke up, I found myself staring at him in *that way.* I realized I wanted him as more than a friend. I just sat in my chair, absentmindedly admiring his body for more than an hour.

The question is: have any of you had this problem before, being in love with and/or being sexually attracted to a friend?

If so, how did you handle it?

Did you tell the person you loved them?

Or did you just let it go?

How did the person respond?

If you think this post is complete bull, which some of you will, don't flame me for it. I'm just holding the collection jar so that everybody can put their two cents in!

matrix's picture


i was in love with a friend, still am, but anyways she actually told me first. i was considering telling her but she had a lot going on in her life. so i guess if your friend doesnt have any attachments or stuff going on tell them. if you are good friends they shouldnt let it matter. something even might come out of it!
good luck

tigerandamy's picture

I know how u feel

Last summer I was working at an all girls camp and I met another counselor that was so fun to be around. We were always hanging out together and have keep in contact through out the whole year. But she is so hot and I love her so much. I felt that it would be better to not tell her how I feel and just put more energy into having a great friendship. I didn't want to ruin the wonderful friendship that I had going. But that is just my experience.

Kris :)

suffragettecity's picture

I wouldn't call having a crus

I wouldn't call having a crush on a friend a problem - it happens to all of us. I'm almost 21 and I still get crushes on my straight friends... Then again, the straight friend I've had a crush on since I met him knows I'm gay, so even though he doesn't know I have a crush on him, maybe it sort of makes me feel "safer."


hol's picture


Crushes on friends are great, and the only relationships I've ever had have been with people who were friends first.

First think about why all of a sudden you have developed a romantic attraction to a friend, that earlier was great and sufficient because it was only a friendship. Why now? What has shifted?

Suss out if it is mutual, and if you can't figure that out without asking, then you are going to have to take the risk (if you think that the benefits outweigh the costs) and just ask.

Friendships are finicky, and sometimes when the romantic is out there on the table and the other person doesn't feel the same way, you can really damage and potentially lose that friendship.

So think about it before you take any course of action.

carger's picture


I think I'll hold off on this for awhile. My friend doesn't seem to interested in me at the moment as he's got a lot going on in his life right now. Anyway guys (and gals) thanks for the input!