Gay Quotes

adrian's picture

If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in
queer to work: "Hello. Can't work today, still queer."
~ Robin Tyler

I'd rather be black than gay because when you're
black you don't have to tell your mother.
~ Charles Pierce

'You could move.'
~ Abigail Van Buren, "Dear Abby," In response to a
reader who complained that a gay couple was moving
in across the street and wanted to know what he could
do to improve the quality of the neighborhood.

The one bonus of not lifting the ban on gays in the
military is that the next time the government
mandates a draft we can all declare homosexuality instead
of running off to Canada.
~ Lorne Bloch

Why can't they have gay people in the army?
Personally, I think they are just afraid of a
thousand guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a faggot?"
~ Jon Stewart

My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All
those women out there praying for a man, and I'm
giving them my share.
~ Rita Mae Brown

Soldiers who are not afraid of guns, bombs, capture,
torture or death say they are afraid of homosexuals.
Clearly we should not be used as soldiers; we should
be used as weapons.
~ Letter to the Editor, The Advocate

You don't have to be straight to be in the military;
you just have to be able to shoot straight.
~ Barry Goldwater

Why is it that, as a culture, we are more
comfortable seeing two men holding guns than
holding hands?
~ Ernest Gaines

My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose
sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill
the world at large with surprise and horror.
~ W.Somerset Maugham

Drag is when a man wears everything a lesbian won't.
~ Author Unknown

If male homosexuals are called "gay," then female
homosexuals should be called "ecstatic."
~ Shelly Roberts

My mother took me to a psychiatrist when I was fifteen
because she thought I was a latent homosexual. There
was nothing latent about it.
~ Amanda Bearse

It always seemed to me a bit pointless to disapprove
of homosexuality. It's like disapproving of rain.
~ Francis Maude

The only queer people are those who don't love anybody.
~ Rita Mae Brown

(and, of course, the ever famous quote:)
The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals
and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't
mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's
just that they need more supervision.
~ Lynn Lavner

guideingforce's picture

"I just wish more of my fello

"I just wish more of my fellow queers would come out sometimes. It's nice out here, you know?"

--Elton John

Beryl's picture


hear hear! (I don't think I spelt that right, but you get the point...)


Rainbowfreek12's picture

thanx for that

i LOVE Elton(seen him live twice). once i come out, im sure ill use it freaquently.


my fave line from my fave episode-->"you kissed me? in front of everbody?"~J. if you know what thats from, you get it, if not, your loss.

RoaG's picture


and when you find them, please share...

DiamondDog's picture

"Introductions are tricky in

"Introductions are tricky in a lesbian relationship. To my friends she's my lover, to strangers and family members she's my roommate, to Jehovah's Witnesses at the door she's my lesbian sex slave, and to my mother she's Jewish and that's all that matters." -Denise McCanles

"No mom, not Lebanese".

Press secretary for The Movement To Free Ommpa loompa Land From The Tyrannical Rule Of The Evil Capitalsitic Despot Willy Wonka And Associates

RoaG's picture


I LOVE the Jehovah's Witnesses one. That's hilarious.

Ohh, I also like:
My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All those women out there praying for a man, and I'm giving them my share.
~ Rita Mae Brown


Spirit1313's picture


said "No mom, not lebanese."....I know I have heard it...And I just can't place it...Its driving me nuts (not that its possible to drive me anymore nuts than I already!
~Lisa Faery~

transalex's picture




alex, unabashed GG addict

Being a transgendered person who embarks upon transition is a jump off a cliff; you have no idea who you will be when you are done. All you know is that you can't stay where you are. ~ Patrick Califia

Spirit1313's picture


That is where I heard it! Thank you soooo much!!!! I love that show!!!!!!!!!!!!(thats a lot of exclamation points)
~Lisa Faery~

goatsrock's picture

Thanks Adrian, we all needed

Thanks Adrian, we all needed that... :-) So when school starts again, can I call in sick to class for being queer, at least for a day or three?

Head of the Oompa Loompa Emergency Liberation Squad and Rescue Team, subsection of organized Chaos, Mischief, and Mayhem.

unicornz's picture


thnx you just made my day!!!

suffragettecity's picture

not exactly a quote...

This isn't really a quote, and it's sorta gross, but I thought I'd include it in the discussion.

Recently, John Savage, a gay guy who does an advice column for The Onion called Savage Love held a contest to see who could come up with the best sex act or sexually-related thing to call "santorum" (after Rick Santorum, of course). The winner was a guy who suggested that the word be used for that mixture of lubricant and feces that's sometimes the byproduct of anal sex...

(John Savage's column can be found in the "A.V. Club" section.)

Jillie's picture

I have no idea who this came from, but I love it

"Homosexuality is God's way of ensuring the truely gifted aren't burdened with children."

And then the non-gay, but still favorite quote: "The face of a child can say everything, especially the mouth part of the face."

adbak's picture

Forgive me for not finding the real quote

Forgive me for not finding the real quote, but it goes something like this:

"I got a medal in the army for killing a man and a discharge for loving one."

I have got to find the real quote....