Is covered in broken glass and lined with thorns. And that is exactly where I spent most of this evening. Traveling down it. All aspects of it. FUN FUN FUN!
We went to my old middle school....that wasnt so bad. Except everything was totally different. And everything seemed sooo much smaller. None of the teachers I remember were there. I hunted down their classrooms. I couldnt even find the collage of my classes pictures.
Then we went to the little tiny town I lived in for four years...Thats where all hell broke loose....thats the town we left behind with not so good a reputation with some of the citizens there. I learned some new stuff about my family while we were traveling down that bitch of a memory lane. Fucking a. Why did we have to do that? I could handle the middle school to some extent, but when we got to Ashby, damn. I wasnt ready for that. I wouldnt have been ready for that for like another ten years. But I didnt have a choice because you see, I was not the one driving. My mother was and she was giving her girlfriend a tour of some variety. I was sitting in the back of the jeep trying my hardest to hold everything in and not yell. I just wanted to scream stop and jump out of the car. If anything brings back my bad habit, that will be it. I wasnt ready to handle that. I wasnt ready at all. I got home and I was shaking badly. No one noticed, or if they did, they refrained from saying anything. I went in the house and did dishes. Then I did a Fitzgerald essay. Its all fucking busy work. I am not ready to let everything out and vent. I havent found the right person to vent to. No one is willing to hang out with me and just let me vent for a while. And I can fully understand why. I wouldnt want to sit around and listen to me vent if I were them. So I guess my point is, I am going to hold it all in. Thats what I always do. And if all else fails, I am sure I will crawl back to that nasty habit I just broke, damn theres some fun. Well thank you for letting me rant and vent. Between Oasis and Evanescence I may just be okay. And hopefully I havent shunned away all my friends....hopefully. ~Lisa Faery~