That lucky star they talk about...

Jazzer's picture

Happy Sunday!

Momma's been VERY bad in not writing lately, but there've been quite a few things going on in the past couple of weeks, and I needed them to settle down before I could write something about them. So here's the scoop:

Boy From Pride

You may remember me talking about a boy from Pride (Father's Day Weekend). Last I left off, we had a fabulous date on the Wednesday after Pride, in which he came and picked me up AND brought me flowers. :-D Yay for flowers!

The upcoming Saturday was our choir concert, so we talked a little bit about him coming. He said that he'd probably be able to make it. On Thursday (the day after our date), I'd talked to one of my good friends in the chorus, and he said that if I wanted to give this new boy a ticket, he had an extra one that wasn't going to be used. Delighted, I called him up and left a message on his voice mail saying that he should call my friend to pick up the ticket; it's a good seat and he doesn't have to pay a dime...what a deal!

Friday, I talked with my friend, and he said that he never got a phone call about the ticket. That was strange, I thought, but I figured that since the boy and I were going out after work, I'd simply ask him about it then. That Friday was a late night, so before it got TOO late, I gave him a call to ask if he still wanted to do something that night. Once again, I got his voice mail. When I got off of work about an hour later, I called him again and--surprise--I got his voice mail again. He never called that night.

Growing a little concerned about things, Saturday I was a bit frazzled before the concert. I called him only once on Saturday and didn't get an answer, which was rather odd, I thought. But I didn't have the time to do anymore calling, so I didn't try again.

That was two Saturdays ago. I haven't seen or heard from him since we last saw each other on Wednesday (the 18th). A week ago, I sent him a short text message just saying I hope everything was all right, and that he should call if he gets a chance. He never did. :- *sigh* It's taken me a little while to get over it, and while it kinda hurts sometimes, I'm getting more comfortable with what happened every day. I mean, I certainly hope that nothing happened to him, because that would be just dreadful, but the more I think about it, the more I think that--barring a catastrophe--he made this decision quite consciously and quite willingly.

"But what if his phone got stolen or died or something like that?" Well, all I can say is that he knows exactly where I live, and could have stopped by and wrote a note if I wasn't at home. He also does have my card with my phone number and E-Mail address on it (my friends call it my "trick card.") Whatever happened, it came as a total surprise. For as brief as it was, it was a rather intense situation; lots of passion, and lots of fun, too. He had many of the qualities that I like in men, and he said that I did, as well.

Perhaps he got scared. I was a little scared at times, too. But we both had a clear understanding that we were just going to take things slowly and see where they went. Being boyfriends wasn't the objective, here. Getting to know each other and enjoy each other's company was. Perhaps another boy from his past walked back into his life. Maybe he's dealing with lots of things that I have no idea about, and spending time with me wasn't helping him sort through these problems. I haven't the foggiest idea, and frankly, I don't think I'll ever know for certain.

I've often thought, "What ever will I say if he calls me up, or I see him in a public place?" I have NO idea whatsoever. I won't be mad or freak out or anything--although I know a lot of my friends would have me do that. I'll cross that bridge when I get there, I suppose. Until then, I think I've got a lot going for me, and I do take comfort in that. While things may not be going exactly the way I'd like for them to in the romance department, I can honestly say that Everything's Comin' Up Roses in other aspects of my life.

What to do now? Keep on dating boys? Stay away from 'em for a while? Gosh, I don't know. Life does, in fact, go on...perhaps it's time for me to go along for the ride.