Disappearing Act Number One

Spirit1313's picture

Okay, so I have to blog today because I may not blog for a long time after that. I am not sure if its for an understandable reason, all I know is I have a reason.

After sunday, Lynn will be living with us full time, except when working and what not. Now, I am not entirely sure how to handle this. I dont know yet if its a good move or if it will render my life a further living hell. I have yet to decide. And I suppose I wont know until I have some experience with her around to use as a deciding factor. But what I do know is that while she is here for the first month or so, I will be making myself scarce in order to "feel" out the situation. Get to know what to expect, what I can handle and what I can not. Hence the reason I may not be blogging too often anymore. No computer in my room.

Now when this idea was first introduced to me, I was shocked, but not entirely. Somehow I knew it was coming, it was like I was expecting it or already knew it, but subconsciously. Surprised the shit out of my mother. But I responded calmly and went along with it. Personal experience has taught me that no matter what I say, think, or how I act it will not change something my mother wants to happen, even if it will have a negative effect. Hence the reason I am wary of the whole situation. I never know what to expect. I dont think I ever intended to say blatantly that I did not in fact want Lynn around. In general I think it may just have a positive effect. Thats how it appears anyway. Yet I am still proceeding with caution so I dont get myself into a bad situation that will only crush me in the end like every other situation or "arrangement" so far.

I work basically all day tomorrow. Meaning right after I get home I go straight to my dad's house. Unless of course by the time I get home, he already has shown up and taken my brother. Or my mother decides she cant possibly stay in this house by herself without us or Lynn and kidnaps me. Although for the past two weeks she has been acting like all we are to her is a burden, and she has done nothing but snap, be cranky, and blame everything on us, mainly me, since for some odd reason, as much as we dont get along, we spend a LOT of time around each other. Its odd. Then I will be around. Otherwise its a full weekend at my dad's and then coming home to well, Lynn, fulltime. Hence the non-blogging. Stress is written all over this. Its got a big, neon yellow, flashing sign screaming CAUTION at me. A pointy arrow one, right in front of my face.

The question is: Do I ignore the sign and dive head first into this, or do I hang back and wait for the sign to say something more friendly???


Beryl's picture

I dunno what....

to tell you hun, it doesn't seem like theres much of anything you can do. Maybe if you dive in and kinda help shape what life will be like with Lynn, instead of her coming in and you having to live around her.... I dunno, its an odd situation.