I have to get this out....

Spirit1313's picture

I feel, not exactly neglected. Definitely hurt. Most definitely. She hasnt "really" seen her in a month but she has not seen nor actually talked to me in three weeks! She asks me to hang out but when I try to figure out a time, she doesnt give me a straight answer. I try to find a time to call her but shes busy. Am I not trying hard enough??? What the hell is going on? I mean whats the point of asking me to hang out if she cant find the time for me???? I want to hang out with her, I want to be with her, but in order to do that I need her to have atleast some time. Is that asking for way too much??? I really dont get it. And yes I know she will read this, and I know she will know its about her, but lately this is the only way I can talk to her. Its just how I feel. Maybe it doesnt matter, actually I guess it really doesnt. Just feeling rather hurt and offended.....

Comments

Beryl's picture

Im so sorry hun!

I know that wasn't fair to you and Im so sorry I haven't been giving you the time you deserve, and I've been absolutely wretched to you and I don't know why you are still bothering with me. I felt really bad about not being able to give you a straight answer on tomorrow, and my impossibly vague times and all, but at the moment it was the best I could do. Part of the reason I haven't been trying as exceptionally hard as I aught to see you the last three weeks is that I felt really bad that your mother did most of the driving and stuff; Im afraid I let my pride get in the way. I wanted to keep it equal, but seeing as I can't drive and have to beg rides of my mom, and that the car is shared out between the needs of the four members of my family, its difficult to find time. And then when I do, mom is really tired and I feel guilty dragging her out. Im sorry, this is all a bunch of excuses and I should have found a way to see you, I really wanted to, but I've been more than a bit of a git.
As for Dragon.... I can understand how you must feel all to well. But the trick is, Dragon's and I's relationship is not purely within the bounds of normal, or what it usually looks like. I trully consider her to be the sister the gods foolishly denied me, and I derive great pain from the fact we don't live together and aren't able to support each othe as proper sisters. It was really hard going form seeing her six days out of seven (school and church) to not at all. There are things I can only say to her, lots about me only she knows or will ever now. Its not that I don't miss you, or that she displaces you, its just a completely different relationship. Im not sure Im making sense, I doubt I am, so Im going to leave now before I dig myself a bigger hole, if this insanely large comment hasn't already, only hoping you can forgive me for being a prideful, undeserving prat.

Spirit1313's picture

I am....

entirely irrational, idiotic and not to mention, a total ass...
~Lisa Faery~

Beryl's picture

I disagree,

but I doubt we will ever see eye to eye on the matter.

Spirit1313's picture

I think...

my whole night is just disastrous. I hope things arent ruined because we worked to damn hard to get where we are....where ever that is...
~Lisa Faery~

Beryl's picture

Why,

what else went wrong? Or did I manage to bring it down single handedly. *dryly*

~B

Spirit1313's picture

Well...

Mom was being pissy cause of lynn....i am overtired...and my salad at Friendly's sucked....but i did get some clothes....you know we could just as easily be IMing each other...
~Lisa Faery~

Beryl's picture

Im sorry dear

that stinks. I suppose, but Im just so tired.....
~B