Dad: So do you have a girlfriend?
Dad: Well I guess what I'm trying to say is, do you like girls?
Dad: I was praying that you would like women...
Dad: No, whatever, you are what you are.
Dad: So, who knows?
Me: A lot of people.
Dad: Well, I was going to leave Frederick anyway.
Dad: Well I dont want my name going around, you know "Oh, Scott Mackey's gay."
Me: That's my name, and are you saying that I'm tarnishing the family name?
Dad: Well, there aren't any other ... people that are un natural in the Mackey family, we love pussy, can't get enough of it.
Dad: So do you want a boyfriend?
Me: It's a goal of mine.
Dad: Well, don't ask me to come to any of your gay shit. And if you're getting married, I'm not coming to your wedding.
Me: Thanks for the support.
Dad: So none of those shit broads that don't look like shit (Amy... Emily...) are gonna get fucked.
Me: Nope, it's not that crazy of a concept.
Dad: Are they the same way?
Me: Amy's a lesbian.
Dad: Yeah she looks like one.
Dad: Just telling you, I don't like lesbians and I don't like gay people, it's just against nature.
Me:I guess so.
Dad: I can't stand being around them, a mental defect. I really just do not like them.
Dad: And I always knew, you were a woman trapped in a mans body.
Me: Okay Dad, you don't know shit... I don't look at myself as a woman.
Dad: Well, whatever. Just, I don't like gay movies, I don't like gay places, but since you're my son I have to like you. I mean, I already fucked up with one of my son's and now you're gay, I guess i do have you're younger brothers.
Me: I guess so.
Dad:I don't understand how a man can't like pussy.
Me: I know it's just insane.