Need to Blog...

Spirit1313's picture

Felt this incredible need to blog. Dont know why. Just did. Havent had that feeling in a while. In a way its kinda a relief, like finally giving in to an addiction.

There is really nothing I HAVE to say. Nothing I feel like I NEED to get out. Its weird. Everything is caught up inside me. I havent been able to write anything. Like a whirlwind inside, a force preventing me from talking about how I feel, what I think, what has happened. I dont understand it. Probably never will. Thats just the way it goes sometimes.

Feeling kind of unwanted. Although Chris wont ever leave me a lone and I have no idea why. It drives me crazy. Of course it always has. But I dont want to be anywhere around Chris, not all the time, and I never want a relationship again. Not with Chris. Ever. It just wont ever work. And being single is a relief. Atleast with that relationship. So ready to leave all of that drama behind.

Speaking of which! I went to make a guidance appointment yesterday to talk to my guidance counselor about our GSA since she happens to be the teacher advisor. Now this woman is a world class bitch and has no fucking idea what the hell she is doing. Not to mention she is offensive and doesn't say anything right to anyone. She is rude and doesnt care what she says or who its in front of. And just my like, she has become my personal stalker. Fun fun fun. ANYWAY! I wanted to make sure (and I still do) that our GSA isnt going to completely fall apart. That wouldnt be right. However, I get the feeling that might happen. I ran it my sophmore year, and if I have to do it again to keep it going now that god damn it I will! I WILL NOT leave my school this year without making sure that there will continue to be a GSA. *takes a deep breathe* But of course she didnt get back to me, so I dont have an appointment as of yet. Just fucking grand. Go figure she wouldnt make me an appointment. It will probably get messed up and she will make the appointment during one of my classes. With my luck...

So in general. I guess I am feeling lost. Lonely as well. And listening to Tatu hasnt helped me much. *sigh* All right. Well I suppose thats all for the time being.

Being prosecuted for who you are, what you have the freedom to be, and for your family is not something I intend to go through everyday. And if I am going to make a stand, and if that stand is alone, than so be it. As long as I can live my life the way I should be able to. No one is going to take that right away from me and I am going to make sure it stays that way.

Have a good night. Catcha later.