Surviving High School

eTgen's picture

I just posted this on new member reticent's blog. I wrote this nearly a year and a half ago- a few months before I started Uni. I just edited it and made it a bit better. Just wondering what you guys think.



Oh yeah, and sorry bout the colors, the original was much more festive. Just imagine :-P





Part One: Understanding You



Before venturing into the great unknown of High School, you must understand yourself. Now granted, you may reject your homosexuality simply refer to it as a “phase” or a “misguided judgment.” In the end, however, you need to achieve some balance of self. I never achieved this balance until literally one year ago, when I was a first year in college. For some, their homosexuality is nothing more than an extension of themselves which they do not even question- good for you. For others, like me, it is a constant battle between the ‘straight’ you and the ‘gay’ you. I’m not asking for nirvana, for that does not come for a long, long time, but rather a frame of reference with which to analyze yourself. Look at yourself in the now: in high school. And try to work out who you are.



Part Two: Understanding the enemies



High School can be a scary, exciting and rewarding place. But unfortunately it also comes with its shares of complete, pardon the expression, @ssholes. It is important to understand where their stupidity lies. Here are the enemies:



The Jock



The jock is the enemy of the gay man. He usually has the intelligence of a squashed gnat, and is very athletic. His favorite hobbies include, but are not limited to: “babe” watching, driving fast cars, discussing women who are hot and not, discussing sports such as football not gymnastics, and watching sports such as WWF for both the “babes” and action. In short they are controlled by their dicks. Their worst fears are: gay men, feelings, emotions, and women who would rather talk then take off all their clothes and &*($ him. They seem to somehow like lesbians (this has perplexed gay men and women across the globe- why do they? No one knows!)



The Fashion Princess



The fashion princess is most commonly found with the jocks. Like their male counterparts they too have a very diminished brain power. Their favorite hobbies include, but are not limited to: “dude” watching, shopping for shoes or hair products, discussing men and the male anatomy, and wearing clothes which beg the question: “did she forget to dress”? In short, fashion princesses play the part as the Jock’s girlfriend. Their worst fears are rejection from the “in-crowd,” letting their real selves through, and women who act butch.



The Core



This is the term that I have described the “in group.” It has some very interesting components. The inner-core refers to those individuals who are at the center of attention: usually the jock and girlfriend fashion princess. They are the center, without them the outer-core and periphery would be meaningless. The outer-core is comprised of second-rate jocks and fashion princess who have not yet learnt the true behavior of fashion. This can be summed up in one word: wannabes! They want to be the inner-core, but don’t have the popularity to break away from the inner-core. The periphery can be made up of questioning homosexuals looking for approval. Usually, the periphery are the group of people who are rarely invited to inner-core parties, but if they know the ‘right’ people can move into the outer core. The butts of most jokes are directed towards the periphery.



Overview



The enemies tend to be the “popular” bunch. They are the “in-crowd,” and any one who is not “in”, if you will pardon the pun, are “out.” This is their greatest weapon: superiority! Somehow, they think that because they are “cool” and have the “best” friends, they are innately superior. From this heightened belief in superiority, they have the “right” to insult gay people, or people who even act gay. In fact, according to their definition of the word: gay is to be “outside the core.” In short, not popular equals ‘gay.’



Part Three: How to disarm the enemy



Now that you understand your enemies it is time to learn how to disarm them. Their greatest weapon over you is what? superiority(?) Well that is what they would like to think, but as pure empirical evidence as well as rational intuition display the core is nothing more than a group of moronic apes dancing willy-nilly in the A&F (not that A&F is bad, for we can not say that just because the stupid wear A&F all people who wear A&F are stupid. I just use it as an example). Thus the superiority is assumed- and this my friends is the the key. Shivering in the presence legitimizes their superiority, and thus what must you do? You must disenfranchise their will to power. By doing so, as they have an already limited capacity for thought, the core will be at a lose and begin to disintegrate. And this is our objective. Not to become cool, but rather to de-cloak the veils and mirrors of superiority from the face of our adversaries. In so doing, one achieves the a reign of individuality so great that collectives and cliques as strong as the Jocks &c shall not have power to rule.



*Note that while such ideals are possible in the realm of fancy and fiction, when applied to real life, such high expectations are very rarely achieved- but the sole of your individually and the (at least partial) destruction of hurtful groups is made possible.



So how can you beat them- You must think of yourself as so incredibly great that the core has nothing to do with you! How does this work, you ask. Simple! You must think “I am better then these people”. Here are some helpful hints on your new found identity:



Power of the laugh:



You will be amazed at how many people will suddenly start to fear you. They start to think: “Who is he to be so sure?” “How dare he thinks he’s better then me”. They will start to fear you, those on the outer core will start to respect you. The inner core will sense a threat to its power and try to intimidate you: there goes that fag! But take it in your stride. Laugh! Laugh at their stupid jokes and make clever witticisms such as “Good heavens, that is absolutely hysterical: tell me was that on Leno Tuesday or Monday? I tend to forget those sorts of jokes, thank Jupiter some people remember them” then just walk away laughing. What you have done is to disarm them the power of insult.



The fear factor:



The trick is to never be afraid. You must always think “I am superior to them” (which of course you are). Even if you never speak, just being aware that you are good starts to rub off. They will sense that you are not afraid. They will sense a lose of power and start to ignore you. No longer will you be the butt of any jokes, nor taunted in class.



Conclusion:



During my sixth through eighth grades I was the constant source of jokes. Eventually I developed my theory and applied it. It worked not only in High School but in every camp that I went to. For some it may not work, but I hope it does. Please e-mail what you make of it (suggestions, success stories, failures and what nots).



Remember: never let the core get the better of you. You are superior to them just for being gay!

morbid intentions 666's picture

good question.....why do they......

"They seem to somehow like lesbians"? good question hmm...
wonder who can answer
:P.....wow!! *.* ...sooo many stereotypes!!all at once!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"keep ur thorns,cuz m running away" -Mudvayne
"simply being loved, loved, loved -- it's more than enough"-BT (thx)

TracyTenor22's picture

Lesbians...

according to my straight friend lesbians are a turn on because what does a guy want more than two girls at once, then i brought up how the lesbians probably wouldn't even give him the time of day... that shut him up pretty quickly... so the mystery continues....

Tracy

Luke's picture

Wow...

That is horribly close minded, prejudiced, judgmental and mean. You cannot categorically denounce people as worthy or unworthy based on social status! That's the same action you are protesting! Some of the nicest people I know are "jocks" or "fashion princesses" and are just as angry as you are because they are judged by people like you as empty headed morons purely by how they dress and look. Yes, there are people like that who are jocks, but to say that it is the norm, and comes part and parcel with playing sports is bigoted and cruel. How does it help anyone to close yourself off from the a group of people. And superiority? Ye gods, have I walked into a meeting of the KKK rather than Oaisis? If anything, queers should be MORE accpeting of others and less judgmental. I have never regreted getting to know someone before judging them, but the opposite cannot be said to be true. I'm sorry that you were the subject to cruel taunting, but I really don't want to live in a world where your "theory" applies.
-Luke
The Head of Security for the Movement to Free Oompa Loompa Land from the Tyrannical Capitalistic Despot Willy Wonka

Jazzer's picture

Hold on there....

Wow. Couldn't believe I was reading this. Look, it's bad enough that there are people out there making the whole gay thing into a big deal, but when the GLBT community starts making it into an "Us vs. Them" affair, that's SO counterproductive. We're all supposed to get along, remember? Yes, there are idiots out there that hate us for things we have no control over, but honestly, "[...we're] SUPERIOR to them just for being gay..."? It'd be funny if you weren't serious. Our biggest enemy is ourselves and learning how to be happy with ourselves and then finding people who will accept us as people and not novelties.

Michael

Some people's kids...I tell ya!