Breakdown

Spirit1313's picture

This world isn't fucking fair. I knew that. I've always known that, somewhere in my mind. Its always been there, taunting me, telling me I didn't belong, to turn back and give up. But being the stubborn, independent shit that I always thought I was, I kept pressing forward, testing every limit, pressing every button. I always thought I could make them see life the way I did, feel the emotions I felt, see what I saw. I never thought that it wouldn't be possible. That I would be crushed everytime I tried.

Why does the ending always come out wrong? Why can't the prince ride off into the perfect sunset on a white horse with the other prince? Why can't the princess be rescued from the dragon by another princess? Why is this fairy tale all wrong? Why can't I change it?

Everyone sees the same sunrise, breathes the same air, watches the same spectrum of color the rainbow creates after the rain. Everyone hears the birds, catches atleast one snowflake on their tongue, makes atleast one mistake in their life. Its no different. Love is love. No one should be in a relationship where they are losing something, instead of gaining. Thats wrong, its not right at all. Relationships are meant to be a bond through love and caring. A trust that each person benefits from.

Freedom, whats that? In a country where freedom is "for everyone" I want to know why I am imprisoned, within myself, to be excluded from these "rights" guaranteed to everyone. I want to just be, and not feel wrong for it. I need peace of mind. I need my own princess to save me from the dungeon I have been enclosed in.

"Cinderella must go on...You could have told me when living died and passion lied....You must be stronger than me..."

Comments

Dragon's picture

I don't have words to make it

I don't have words to make it better, I can't wave a wand and say majic words, I wish I could, I wish a computer hug could make you feel better, because I want you to.

~dragon~

Beryl's picture

*taps heels together* Damn i

*taps heels together* Damn it. I was hoping they'd disappear me to your house so I could at least give you a hug, seeing as I can't honestly tell you it will be alright. :( I wish I could, I really wish I could. I know there are a lot of people I wish I could say that to, but you in particular because you try so hard and are such a stubborn, independent person and I really love that about you. How many other people would get built up about drug rehab centers getting shut down? About the zillions of other things that don't really effect you but you feel so strongly about. I wish I could be more like you that way. I wish I didn't fail you so often. I wish a lot of things, but mostly that I could tell you things will be ok.

Spirit1313's picture

Failure

Is something that is mine to claim. I failed you, and by doing so, I failed myself. I want to forget it, but I can't. And its okay, because now its a part of me, and I will learn from it and grow. Thank you so much Heather, you have given me so much.
~Lisa Faery~