Ummm........hi

Tattered-Angel's picture

Ummm so.. Hi peoples, ^^; I am new around here. My names Ravyn (pen-name) and I am 15 years old. Right now I am going through a phase of "unsureness", but I think I might be bi. I havn't really talked to anyone about it, the other day tho I kinda came out to my friend without meaning to...
It was horrible, I didn't mean to tell her but the topics of gays came up (due to a weird conversation about elton john....but thats another story..) and she went "Yuck!!" so I was like what? and she told me that she thought homosexuality was wrong. And it startled me because I thought I knew her really well, I mean we have known each other for almost 10 years now, this is the girl that I used to play 'Pretty Princesses' with in my background.... Anyway she asked what was wrong with me and I got defensive, so she got suspicious and I blurted out that I thought I might be bi (did I mention I am really horrible under pressure?). She of course was shocked and was like what??? And I told her I wasn't totally sure but...., than her excact words were "What do you mean not sure? You are or you aren't. Its not that hard." and I wanted to tell her that yes it was it was very hard and confusing and frustrating and tons of other things too! But I donno why but I didn't. Then everything got real quiet and I asked if it was okay with her and she said yeah it was fine, paused, and then said but 'I think its morally wrong'. OF COURSE that was tons comforting! -.-; I wanted to find a nice hole to hide in...... I didn't say anything in reply and after what felt like a year (more like five minutes.... but still) I told her we could just drop the subject. So we went back to normal teenage girl talkings but it all felt -weird-. I'm afriad that ever time I talk to her now its gonna feel that way, I don't wanna lose her as a friend.... I only have two people I can really call friends in my life and losing her would be devastating....
Sorry its 2am here and when I am tired I tend to talk on and on and on and on.......
I really just wanted to say hi to everyone. So hi, now I think I am going to head to bed ^-^

morbid intentions 666's picture

hey baby!!!! /jk

*cough* fu(l(er.....hettie...well yea...hi!!!!! hehehe
^.^ :) velcom velcom to the rainbow....well least u didnt lose
her =/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"keep ur thorns,cuz m running away" -Mudvayne
"simply being loved, loved, loved -- it's more than enough"-BT

niks121997's picture

Hello

Hi! As someone who just came out to herself, I can definitely agree with you that it isn't easy. The naiveness of people, myself included, amazes me. I remember Pretty Princessess! Not that I played it often or even correctly, but I remember running around with all this fake jewlerly on. Anyway, I hope that your friend is more accepting if you "decide" that you are bi. ::hugs::
-Nikki
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

RoaG's picture

um, excuse me?

It's not that hard? You either are or aren't? Sorry sweetcakes, but it's not that simple.

I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Figuring out your sexuality, even if you're straight, is not an easy endeavor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ramblings of a Girl

v a n d a l's picture

9/10

9 times outta 10 people will never understand what they havent been through. its normal for your friend not to understand. i think it's harsh that she said it was morally wrong, but that was probably just a first reaction - not having time to realise what just came out (so to speak) kinda thing. if she's a real friend, this wont wreck your friendship.

i gotta admit, before i realised about myself i was a little that way as well, thinking it was kinda not right. my thoughts were, thats cool, do what you want to do, just here's my personal space, but then that was because i never had any interaction with people that were gay growing up.

althoug most of my friends prbably dont really understand me being bisexual (that includes my gay friends) they're all accepting of it.

its ok to be confused..... i've had a friend that was confused then decided no he was really straight in the end. its normal to question your sexuality. dont let anyone tell you otherwise cause they're probably just afraid of the unknown.