In Love with a straight boy.

JanetBoy7's picture

Will it ever end? I have the HUGEST crush on this straight boy, and as much as i want to say i have him out of my system, the thought of him make me smile. Is it because he was my first boy i liked? Will i get over it when i find someone new? I really hope so. You wanna know something else that sucks too... I good friends with the girl he is in love with. It really hurts when he talks about her to me. This is why i stay my distance from him, i hardly ever talk to him any more and don't even want to see him.

this sucks
jboy

Griffy's picture

Those straight boys..

I'm sorry to hear that :(. I think alot of gay/bi guys here know what that's like; I know I do. About a year and a half ago when I was realizing that I was going to end up gay, I saw this kid, a 7th grader at the time in one of my classes and I jsut about died. Your classic first love story. Only at the time I had no idea that it happens to alot of people I thought it was something happening only to me. His beautiful brown eyes and soft and fuzzy light hair. =D... Like you said the thought of him makes me smile. To this day, he has no idea that I'm gay or that I've been on and off with liking him since the first day I saw him. [My first obsession wave lasted 6 months and that was hell].

Anyway, here I am still not over him. He comes and goes between my little flings I have. But to further coincide with what you said up there ^^. My recent one. Spenser. Hands down the most beautiful guy I will ever have the privilege to lay my eyes on. He's got the most amazing deep green eyes and nice ass and soft, fuzzy hair. Of course all this is just something I'm going to have to get over sometime. It's obvious he's straight, and I couldn't even become friends if I wanted since he's always surrounded by his higher social class.

-Griff

rich's picture

Yer

Hi I'm new here, but I know exactly what you are talking about, in fact, it seems almost like you are talking about me!

It's just that there seems to be two guys I want at the moment, can't work out which one (stupid trying though, both are straight)

kris's picture

Yes!

I joined the site because I am in the same boat as all of you. It's really driving me nuts. Personally, I think you should spend some time with the straight guy, not detach. Hint at your feelings, but never come on to him. Play with it. Do that enough and something might develope, and if not, at least you'll know you tried.

That's what I'm doing. It's hard. I'm totally obsessed with this guy.

I'll explain a bit more later and see what everyone thinks...or is this topic dead now?

Dan84's picture

No!!!!

This thread will never die!!!!

Tyron's picture

my story

I'm very happy that I found this thread. It was like I was reading my own story. I want to share mine.

I met Olivier in College (France). I don't speak English very well so pls bear with me. Reliving this moment is very hard for me. I am trembling and my heart is beating fast as I type this. He had the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I still remember him, great big soft brown eyes, wavy brown hair, athletic, handsome beautiful voice. He was beautiful, handsome, loving, caring, happy, energetic. On my freshmen year, he was my classmate. I never really paid attention to him. I had my own friends, mostly girls. I don't have any gay friends. I feel that I don't belong with them. I don't know, I don't feel being friends with them because they can see through me and they will know im gay. That's my greatest fear when I started college. I want people to see that Im normal like everybody else. I don't want people to be suspicious of my sexuality. So most of my friends are either girls or straight guys. I am very intelligent in my country. People looked up at me and admired me. One of them was Olivier. On my third year in College, Olivier became one of my guy friends. We were 6 friends in total: 3 girls, Samantha, Thea, Fara; and 3 boys, Rex, Olivier and me.

Olivier and I were very very close. You know we do all the guy stuff. We drank beer together almost every night.We laughed and just had fun. It was a very sweet relationship. I never thought I would fall for him. But my feelings for him started to grow as we spend more time together. As we become close, Olivier started to fall in love with our friend Samantha. I couldn't explain my feelings at that time but I was extremely jealous. There was a point when Samantha asked me about Olivier if he's a good guy and if he's really serious with her, I always made Olivier looked bad in her eyes. I always say, " I dont think Olivier knows what he wants, I don't think he really loves you" or I'd say, "Olivier is a womanizer". Olivier would asked me too about Samantha. I also make her looked bad in his eyes. I say rediculoustly things like "she's just playing with you" or "you are not his type" and so on. The good thing is they believed my lies because they had so much respect for me, and they never shared to each other what I think about each of them.

Then one night. Olivier invited me to his father's farm house. I was the only one who went there because I didn't tell my other friends. We were all alone. We became so drunk. We laughed, giggled and wrestled each other. We always played that game where we would wrestle each other. But that night, we were both shirtless because it was so hot in the summer. I had always seen Olivier shirtless in the gym. He had the most beautiful body I had ever seen. He had six pack abs with no trace of fat. He exudes so much masculity, I would melt. But I always tried not stare too much because I don't want him to be suspicious of me. We were so drunk that night, full of sweat and we wrestled. Then suddenly , he felt that I had a hard on. I was so nervous. It was nothing to him, he thought it was just normal. Then he was curious to see how big is my penis. You know guys always want to show off their cock. So i showed him mine, he was so awed because it was so big. I could tell he like the way it looked. I was circumcised in the States so my cock looked beautiful (i don't know). He hadn't showed me his so I could not compare. I told him to touch it (of course, I wouldn't mind! LOL!). I know he's straight so this is really new to him but he had so much respect for me and trusted me. He knew this is going to be our secret. He proceeded to touch it then I ordered him to masturbate it. For 5 minutes he masturbated me without lube. I begged him to suck it and promised I wouldn't tell anyone. It didn't work. Obviously he was not keen with the idea. He just smiled at me coz I was desperate (begging) him to suck me. He just masturbated me until I came. He laughed when I came because there was a lot of cum all over my stomach. He masterbated me 3 times that night. I told him to stop on the third time because my cock was becoming very sensitive but he kept doing it. He had a kick with it. He was laughing and loved to torture my cock. It was probably the most memorable sexual experience in my life. I would never forget it.

The next day, we went back to school and it's like nothing happened. We never said a word about it. But our bond had become so close. But his relationship with Samantha was doing well too. I did not succeed in making Samantha looked bad in his eyes. They continued to date and every time he's gone, I cried. I cried all night thinking of him with another girl. I was so hurt. It was so painful, I felt like dying inside. I felt like vomiting. I was like suffocated in an unjust world. I wanted so bad to touch him, to kiss him, to run my fingers on his hair, to carress his abs, to have sex with him, and to tell him how much i love him. It was affecting me so bad that I could not sleep at night.

All I can do was pray. I prayed to God that Olivier will be happy. All I want is for him to be happy.

At the end of our Senior year (graduation), Id be going to Canada to work as my parents live there. I decided to tell Olivier what I really feel about him before I left France. I had nothing to lose since I will be gone to Canada in a month. I invited all my friends to my farewell party. Olivier and I had a great time, he even cried, and said , "I will miss you, bud". He gave me a long hug that lasted 2 minutes. Then I told him something I've been wanting to tell him all these years. I said, "I have something to tell you about me but promise you won't laugh." That was my exact words. I was concern more about him laughing at me. He said, "you can tell me anything, bud."

I took a very deep breath and said, "I am gay, and Im in love with you." His initial reaction was complete surprise. His eyes got big, his right eyebrow raised. He was probably thinking I was joking. Then I proceeded to tell him, "do you remember why Samantha and you always fight? It's because I always tried to break you up. I was the curprit. I was the bad friend." He smiled at me. I was happy about that, I thought he would punch me. He gave me that beautiful seductive smile, I was melting at his presence. He actually found it a compliment that Im in love with him. He continued smiling and said, "im cool with it, bud. Im okay if you're gay". He shook my hand to seal our friendship. I didn't expect him to love me in return coz i know he can't since he is straight. I started telling him everything. Then he teased me if I always peeked at his body at the gym. Im so embarrass to admit it then, so I just said no. But he knew I was lying. :)

The sad part was, after a week, he never communicated with me. He never called. He never said goodbye when i left France that month. For a week I cried because I knew he couldn't love me back. I sent him a long beautiful letter before I left. I said goodbye, I will go , perhaps to return no more. I wish you luck in your life. I wish you all the happiness that life can give.

I never looked back ever since. I learned that im very fortunate that i experienced this "love". Even though it failed, I am so happy now that I experienced it. I thank God coz it made me a better person. God probably wanted me to experience this to make me a strong person. Now, if someone does not love me back, I don't feel pain than I used to. I just accept it and move on. And smile. There is someone there for me. All I have to do is wait. God has prepared something for me.

I found my guy in Canada. His name is Marlon. We are now living together for 2 years. :)

Dan84's picture

Hey!

Thanks for sharing that story. I'm glad it has a (sorta) happy ending!

All the best,

Daniel

chrisis's picture

YOU GUYS!!!

IF you guys want the worlds view on homosexuality to change you have to be comforatable with yourselfs. How are straight people supposed be comfortable around us if we aren't comfortable with our selves? This is why if your in love with a straight guy just tell him. Me I haven't told my straight guy yet but trust me I will before the school year ends.

imconfused's picture

i know how you all feel

Oh my gosh, this is like my story. I am in 8th grade,im 13.
My best friend, Ryan (15 now)is very cute. We have been best
friends for like two years. Last year in 7th grade i knew that i
liked him. Over the last two years we have gotten pretty close.
We have all of our classes together even though he is a freshmen
this year. I would love nothing more than to be with him, but
i know that he is straight. He comes off like a homophobe but
there is always the chance he could be bi right? He takes his shirt
off when we play basketball and i try not to let him see me looking.
He is not going to be back at school next year because his mom
is making him be homeschooled next year. I know what you guys
are going through and I am going through it too. But if we keep
spending all of our time worrying about the straight crushes we have
and can never have, then we will never find love. Well I hope that
i have helped somebody, i know that it made me feel better.

~the confused teen, zach~

Cowboy bebop's picture

I understand what your going through

I went through the same thing through high school. All I can tell you is that it will always hurt , because your str8 crush will not feel the same emotions that you are showing for him. I'm going to share my story with all of you and hopefully you wont follow my mistakes.

I am a kind of guy who has always been attracted to str8 guys that are popular, good looking, and nice. It all started in the summer school program after my eight grade year when i saw the guy i felt deeply for. He is really tall, skinny, black hair, black eyes, and a pale skin tone; he is not the most attracted guy in the world which shock me and made me fall for him even more. My eyes laid upon him clearly when I first saw him smiling’ in the sun. My heart skipped beats and my breathing heightened when he brushed pass me without noticing i was their. Well during the summer I hardly saw him at all and when i did it was brief.

During the ninth grade year we had became friends after i introduce myself, which took a lot of courage on my part. We became fast friends that joke around and just being regular guys. It was around mid year in the 9th grade that i started to get really touchy with him and he would look uncomfortable but allow me to do it. I would hug him here and their because i just wanted to feel feel him, just hoping that he would feel the same.

Around the 10th grade year he would tell me off or let me know that i was being to touchy to him, this was when i did it in public. In private he would just sit their and allow my hand stay on his pelvis or lap; or allow me to put my arm around him. things started to get really complicated during the middle of the tenth grade year, because i told him i love him and he said nothing, i recall telling him that twice, without him saying anything back to me. He just stared at me and walk away, but the next day he would be really nice and be close with me; like sitting with me or opening doors for me and we would stare at each other for no apparent reason. Yeah I started to question if I was in love or if it was just lust. I notice that, being with him just knowing that he cared was all i needed, it was love, my first time falling in love. Now he had other friends who were into sports as much as he was in to them so i really thought that he was str8 OR Bi curious.

In the 11th grade year which was the worst year of my life because we had a falling out. He told me to “back off, your to touchy

JanetBoy7's picture

!?!?!?

one word...

(((((( WOW ))))))

i think i need to get my straight guy drunk... lol

Peace,
jboy
- A true friend will tell you when you have something stuck in your teeth.

Carlitos1717's picture

:O :)

carlos

Your story truly amazed me, and my favorite part was when you were leaving and he smiled at you but the saddest part was when he never kept in touch in you. I am proud of you that you truly moved on. Maybe I should learn from you.

luvtuch777's picture

Letting Go!!!

It is never easy when you love someone who doesnt or is not longer loving you the same way go, this is the crazy part. I've been through this with an ex-boyfriend who had sex with persons who suppose to be friends of mines. Anyway, I lie in bed and criend for weeks, but when it was all said and done and I looked back over the situation, I asked myself, what about him that had me so fool in love.

As for having crushes, I learnt from the first beautiful attractive guy who actually wanted me to be with him and who I desired of being my first boyfriend when I move to the big city from one of the smaller Islands of the Bahamas. After later in life finding out that we both wanted each other but for fear and uncertainly, didnt got that opportunity to share each other's love, he told me what make sense having crushes if yur not willing to tell the person. So I'm saying if you love them that much, how would they know you do if you never tell them that you do?

Tell them or else get over it.

I also went through alot of abuse, bigotry and discrimination and today I am an advocate for young gay persons like myself and I've pen my first book that can be found at www.trafford.com/07-0935 and do motivational speaking to schools and church groups where persons are going through alot of deep dark personal things and are afraid to speak out.

Duncan's picture

mwahaha!!!

hahahaahahahahaahah no!! It won't!!!!

Rachel Collins's picture

Yeah

Even though Im a straight trans-girl, its still tough. It will be easier for me to get a straight guy after I transition, but still, its tough.

Rachel

luvtuch777's picture

My first crush/love interest

I am from the Bahamas and that was where I was born and raise. However, most of my feelings for guys developed when I was on one of the smaller islands, but I was forced to keep it hidden for fear of what will happen to me. Anyways, when I migrated to Nassau, Bahamas, it was a totally new experience for me in many ways. But I ended up falling in love with a girl who was best friends with 2 girls. However, he was very attracted to me as I was him, but I guess he didnt know how to approach me, especially with me having alove interest for his friend. And I wasnt about to make a fool of myself and be outted if came to find out he was not gay, so I kept it inside. However, that didnt stopped us from smiling and giving each other the eye. Well sadly nothing came out of the secret crushes, but fast forward a few years later, we both met up at a gay club shocked and surprised to see each other there. The very slim attrative young man and I greeted when he confessed his crush that he really wanted to be with me, but didnt know how to say it. Shockingly, I told him the same thing. But unfortunately at that point, I was no longer attracted to him. But that was my secret crush.

I also went through alot of abuse, bigotry and discrimination and today I am an advocate for young gay persons like myself and I've pen my first book that can be found at www.trafford.com/07-0935 and do motivational speaking to schools and church groups where persons are going through alot of deep dark personal things and are afraid to speak out.

random's picture

*sigh*

I'm a girl but I can definitely relate to the straight crush... it sucks, eh? At least he doesn't know how you feel... the girl I like knows, there's so much awkward eye contact there... yeah, I've done this topic to death in my blog...

But of course you'll get over it and find someone eventually, even if you have to go through more crushes on straight boys before you get there... just hang on and dream.

JanetBoy7's picture

Well this guys knows, it took

Well this guys knows, it took me a LONG time to tell him. It was very hard for me to say the words i was feeling, but i did the best i could. Unfortunately he was a bit younger then me, and i knew what i wanted but he was still a confused kid. It's crazy how this world works because i work with the girl he is in "love" with and she says all this bad stuff about him and uses him most of the time.

oh well.. i can't stay stuck on one person forever...
jboy

random's picture

:(

damn... yeah i assumed he didnt know, its good that he isnt freaked out by it though (or is he?)

JanetBoy7's picture

no

Nah he wasn't too freaked out by it. At a point he said he liked me back and all this other stuff that made really confused. I think he was confused himself and didn't know what he wanted.

He stills call me till this day wanting to hang out and always asking me why we don't kick it anymore. Back when all this stuff happened and I knew nothing was going to come out of our friendship I felt it would better if I just stood my distance from him. Out of site out of mind, right? It works until he calls me and I'm really good friends with his mom and stepdad, I visit them more then I visit him.

well i could go on forever....
jboy

kris's picture

delete

isnt there a way to delete this?

royal's picture

A hole in my chest

I totally understand where your coming from. I'm in love with this boy at my school. I'm not sure if he's totally straight or not. I just think that the homophobic atmoshpere at my school is imposing a lot of stress on the development of our relationship. Really, the only thing I can do is be a good friend to him. I think that though it will tear my heart apart forever, I will have to be satisfied with our frienship or nothing at all.

I feel your pain... ego amare aliquis calo

Sahr_Erable's picture

Add me to the list of near-helpless victims

I've had obsessive crushes too. Last year, when I realised I liked guys, I developped a crush for one of my classmates. He was ok with it, surprisingly. What I didn't like is that he told his girlfriend, and that scared me to death. I thought she'd get jealous and plot murder. Unfortunately, she didn't try to strangle me to death. Instead, she wanted to become friends. Hurray! (sarcasm)

I'm still not over it, even though I told him I was, back in May or so. He's a good friend, I can tell him mostly anything without having him think I'm insane. I tried avoiding him, though, and I constantly tell him I hate him and such (well, not directly, but I don't tell him how much I appreciate his company. I try to act indifferent towards him being around), but I'm one of those persons who mean the opposite of what they say. Avoiding him doesn't help. He's in all of my classes, and the more distant I try to be from him, the more he worries. Ack! Go away, evul straight guy!

Actually, just today, he sat with me in French class, and he treated me like I was a god he needed to worship. He serves me and everything... It's not fair sometimes. Why must they be straight? I wonder if he'd ever be curious enough to try something with me... (I can be selfish sometimes...)

Anyways, this was just to let you know you're not alone. I think most teenagers experience this, though not everyone does. Just don't let it get to you. Life goes on.(and it's only gonna make me strong... it's a fact, once you get on board, say goodbye 'cause you can't go back... OMG... Leann Rimes)And I just like to talk about this. Makes me think things through.

Ok, enough... I feel like I've just written an essay again today...

Griffy's picture

That's cool

As pathetic as this sounds, alot of the people here seem to be extremely homophobic, and I envy those of you who have told your straight-guy crushes how you feel about them. Similar
to Sahr who replied before me, last year when I was figuring out that I was gay too, I fell in love with this guy a year younger than me named Doug. I dont know why I haven't but to this day I haven't told him. I'm so paranoid and always considering everythign that might happen from me telling him, I'm scared of moving on if "worse comes to worse" but I've had the phone call in my head with him over and over again of me telling him everything and it's getting to the point where I drive myself insane with it!

I know it's going to have to happen someday, but I doubt we'll remain as good as friends as some of you have said. Thanks to the overall closed-mindedness of my 90% LDS community [mormon]. They aren't all bad its not like i live in some hick town where im gong to be burned for it... I dont know and I talk too much.

-Griff

adbak's picture

The Myth of Heterosexuality

Any young male heterosexual, with liberal doses of alcohol and/or other mind-altering substances and the insistence of "no one will know" loses their sexuality, at least for a brief time. ;)

Beryl's picture

Hahahaha

Think that works for girls too?

guru's picture

Here, here

*applause*

guru ;)

Dan84's picture

Crushes and friends

Yeah, this sucks.
I have this crush on a guy in one of my classes. I just met him this year. He's in Education, like me. I have no idea what his sexuality is because, of course, I've never asked him. Likewise, nobody knows about my sexuality...yet, anyway. There is, of course, no way to find out without asking him point blank.

The point I'm trying to get across is that I can't see myself asking him, even after my family knows about my bisexuality. You see, this guy also makes a really good friend! I'm probably going to be in many of his Ed. classes for a while (since we're in a very similar program). We get along well, and he's a really cool friend. That's my general problem-- I want to be "just" friends with many guys, but I want more than that with one guy. Plus, if I tell a guy that I *like* him, I could really freak him out, and then we won't be friends. Do you understand my problem? Damn heterosexual norms! Then again, guys approaching girls and getting turned down also makes for awkward futures, but not like this! Bah! Please excuse this ramble. Thank you.

Daniel's picture

Wow, we share a name and a si

Wow, we share a name and a simular situation. For over a year now I've been developing a crush on one guy in my major at school. At first I thought he was simply cute. In the begining I didn't have the same classes but we were often in the shop or computer labs at the same time. For some reason I've strongly closeted myself at school. My life is too varied like that, some people know I'm gay but too many do not. Its no guarded secret its just most people don't guess.

Anyways, last spring semester we had a studio together and gradually have become good friends. This semester we're inseperable. I have 3 courses with him, two of which we're partners in all our projects. tuesdays and thursdays we hang out all day between classes, go out to eat, talk, play fooseball. Its great, I'm really lucky to have him as a friend. He's an amazing individual. And I'm gradually falling in love with him.

But like you I have no idea what his sexuality is. In all this time I have never heard him commit to anything sexuality related, he generally avoids all such conversation or makes minimal and vague comments. At the same time he's usually the one to instigate going out to lunch or doing anything. He wanted to be partners for projects and I swear sometimes I see something in his eyes that look like, well, I don't know, it just gives me hope you know?

So yes, he's impossible to read. If he were to be straight that wouldn't be a surprise at all, but if he were to be instead just very closeted that would make complete sense as well. I've been trying to gather evidence but so far I have not enough to make the case either way.

My only last move is to come out to him. I want some kind of resolution, sub consciencely I've given my heart to him, if I try to think about somebody else I don't care, I just want him. So yes, theres my ramble :)

JanetBoy7's picture

WOW!!!!!

Whoaa!! and I thought I was the only one suffering with my love life!
Now it doesn't seem that bad. lol Don't worry though, I believe that someone will come around and that straight person will just be a past memory.

PS> keep the stories coming, i've read everyone.

Peace,
jboy
-Theres always tomorrow.

Griffy's picture

yes

Yeah I LOVE reading all the personal experiences, it's super awesome. And I'm glad you don't feel alone anymore =D hehe
-Griff

justsomegirl's picture

Well, I'm a girl, but I can c

Well, I'm a girl, but I can certainly relate to the whole attraction to straight people. There is this girl at work, mmmmm. But, she has a boyfriend so, it isnt going to happen.

I think there is something inherent in human nature that makes us crave what we can't have.

**I'm willing to find out what impossible means**

Daniel's picture

I was hanging out in a bookst

I was hanging out in a bookstore with a friend (the ultimate cool I know) and we were sitting in the gender studies section and I found a rather interesting book that briefly addressed this situation.

Though not in a good way really. Basically it said that falling in love with straight men or the straight acting type was one of the strongest expressions of homophobia and self hate a gay person can have. I'm paraphrasing of course. But yeah, it basically stated that it was an unhealthy form of depression that would go away if the person got more involved in gay events and culture.

I don't know if I can get past the insult there, but that seems a bit skewed as well. I mean is gay culture the end all of what it means to be gay?? That and I don't like when books on sexuality are in a section labled "gender", but thats another rant.

Anyways, I kind of thought of my situation, which I still maintain he could be very closeted, as one who was himself rather closeted I should know :)

justinbetween's picture

that is disgusting. i mean wh

that is disgusting. i mean what this book says. was it rather old? at least those gender studies people should (and usually do) know that that whole subculture thing is not the only way in which one can be gay.

what bugs me most about this "explanation" is that it also is about "straight acting" people. oh right. if someone is acting "straight" (i. e. what? not speaking in a high voice, not wearing make up and not have a superior taste in clothing?) that is a sign of covert homophobia? or being in love with someone who acts like that? does that mean that anyone who is gay does not fit into gay stereotypes is covertly homophobic?

plus the whole shitty conception of a "gay culture". as if there were such a thing.

Kara317's picture

Hey, listen

Hey, i was in that same situation, but in my case i was in love with a totally strait girl, who just happened to be my best friend, go figure. Anyway, i came out to her falt out and said that i loved her, and that i wanted to be with her. That was back in November 2003, we've been dating now since the first of 2004, literally. I couldn't be any happier.
Kara

ashleytothehizzle16's picture

well J boy, I am a girl but I

well J boy, I am a girl but I think any human being that is gay or bi-sextual can relate to you're situation. isnt it weird how simple attractions can turn into something more then you ever expected?! I wouldnt keep you're distance from him though, because that only makes you think of him more and you'll always be wondering. Yes its terribly hard being around someone you can't have, but after a while the feelings will just fade. I think people want someone they cant have more then someone they could have. So just give yourself a break, go find someone that is equally attracted to you, if not more. Its always a great feeling to get affection back. Best of luck to you.
*Ashley*
Hang in there!!!

Daniel's picture

Alright, I'm back with a ques

Alright, I'm back with a question for all of you. When do we give up? When do we try to stiffle our attraction towards people who most likely will never acknowledge let alone return our feelings of love? I'm in love and it will most likely end in pain, yet I can't stop falling deeper in. I also can't seem to come out to this guy, I mean I don't normally walk around coming out to every person on the street, but its never been this difficult.

I wish things could for once be simple and clear.

ashleytothehizzle16's picture

tough question Daniel

Well Daniel, I dont thinkthat other people can answer for you when enough is enough. To be perfectly honest with you, I truly believe no other person besides yourself can know when you are at the point to give up on someone. Love is a painful thing, but it can always be something beautiful two people share. I think most any human being falls for something they cant have, only because it gives you something to work for, and then you can feel like you have accomplished something. You have probably heard this plenty of times, and this may not help you in the least little bit. But when people give up on others, it could be more then one reason. and the fact that you're in love with someone that doesnt know it, makes it that much more difficult to decide when enough is enough. I really think you should be honest, because at this point all you're doing is wondering what ifs....Most people dont come out to everyone on the streets teling them their sextuality. But I think the sitation you're in is a little different. You're in love with this guy, and you're beating yourself up over it. I think you should tell him for yourself, for you're protection, because you cant take care of anyone else before taking care of yourself. Put yourself on top for once, make your feelings a priority and come clean. sorry I am rambling, I will stop now. Best of luck to you
*Ashley*

JanetBoy7's picture

Don't give up, just move on...

I agree with ash, only you will know when the time is right. But at the same time I don't think it's a matter of giving up it's more of the feelings fading away. Although right now it seems like these feelings will never fade away, it's been two years now since I told my guy, the feelings are still there just not as strong as they use to be.

I choose not to speak of, call, email, text, look, or even talk about this person anymore. It's sad because he was a great friend but at the same time he was killing me inside. Something had to change, I couldn't live my life hoping and waiting for someone that will never feel the same. It's not worth it. I know it's easier said then done, but I feel I’m in a much better place now.

Good Luck!!

Peace,
jboy
-Theres always tomorrow.

ashleytothehizzle16's picture

I find myself writting to you again,...JEEZ!

Well I know what you mean about its not a matter of giving up, its how the feelings just fade. I am really sorry you had to really drop everything (like calling., e-mailing.........) just to make yourself feel better. Its a sad thing to go through, but after time I guess you can go with the catch. I just wish people werent so narrow minded so you could feel like you could talk to them about anything. I am glad you are in a much better place in you're life right now, but may I ask you something?! I may be getting to personal and if I am just say so...but do you ever wonder what if you had told him? or how he feels about your friendship just ending?! that always makes me curious when people say they moved on....did you really move on, or did you just block him out of you're head? I am truly sorry of this is too personal. I would really like to hear what you have to say.
Best of luck to you
*Ashley*

Dan84's picture

It's mostly been said, but...

"I wish things could for once be simple and clear". Well, I know that that's what I wish! I've often thought how convenient it would be if people simply had their sexual orientations tattoed on their foreheads. Of course, that would serve to isolate people into boxes even more, but I don't care! Things would be much simpler. Oh, and there's the additional problem that in some places, being a known queer person can be quite hazardous to your health.

Anyway, I don't have a real answer. I guess you could say that I'm just responding for the hell of it. :) Ah, well. I guess I'll just grow up to be a very lonely, angry, alienated individual. Nah, that's a joke! I'm a relatively happy person, but I admit that these questions are driving me crazy. If you've read the earlier posts, you'll know that Daniel and I are sharing a similar situation. What to do?! I don't know. Bah! "simple and clear"-- you said it!

Daniel

flashpoint's picture

Hmm....

They could be like barometric color bands, possibly changing shades if a person is feeling a little confused with their sexuality.
"Hmm... you're looking a little more queer today, Jim...."

DezzaB's picture

Me Too

Since leaving UNI (college)...I work part time in a pub, I have had a huge crush on a straight co-worker. He knows I am gay and respects that. Recently he has been asking really personal questions about my sexuality and he has been asking me to go out drinking, we went out and this girl was putting the hard word on him so he asked if he could pretend to be my B/F. So he held my hand or put his hand on my knee for the rest of night until I noticed that she was gone but the hand was still there. I said "so you enjoy being my B/F? he said yeah, how did I do, I said not bad and he said "I haven't touched your dick yet though".I said jokingly "go ahead"..he then gently felt me up. Since then things are back to normal except he is a bit more "touchy feely" at work, you know, like shoulder rubs etc... I don't think about it much to avoid torturing myself...any ideas??

"Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines"

JanetBoy7's picture

Whoa...

Let me know how this ones ends ;) I don't know what I would do if my straight guy felt me up..(actully yea I do hehehe)

Peace,
jboy
-Theres always tomorrow.

Dezza's picture

Tonight....

I will keep you posted. In fact not 30mins ago my boss at the pub asked me to work tonight....and guess who else is working??? .Sigh ! it seems I am to be tortured....I'll give an update tomorrow morning or evening (not sure what the time difference is)..

BTW how is your crush progressing??

Caio Dezza

"Australia, where sexual boundaries are very blurred"....

Dezza's picture

Straight update

Hey J Boy,

Thought I would update you. Well I was out with friends at our Local Gay Bar when I got an SMS at about 2.00am from the object of my desire wanting to know where I was, I told him, he came down, asked me to meet him at the Door, he was pretty nervous as it was his 1st time in a full on gay bar....anyway about 4.00 am he takes me to a quiet spot to "talk". He fully pashes me (kisses) for about a minute..then says he has ot go...and leaves...oh well...more to come i suppose...how are you going?

"Australia, where It's F*&^%g HOT today"....

skip's picture

Bad track record with straight boys...

I've found that straight men between the age of 18 and 24 are generally easier than gay boys to get in bed. With another guy.

I've had 3 very straight boys come on to me, and actually snogged the one (and went a bit further...)

*evil grin*

Dan84's picture

Say what?!

Say what?!

guru's picture

Never fear cause "straight" guys are also "queer"!

Dear JBoy

This being my very first post, and very first day on oasismag, I thought it would be fitting to begin with a topic VERY close to my heart.I have suffered yet the same life tradgedy in a slightly different way. I have the problem of continuously falling for straight guys because as an active teenager i had a few "story telling, black-mailing" experiences with the most straightest of straight (or so they think) guys ever. Jocks as I like to call them. So, I now believe that I can convert straight guys and have actually fallen for one much to my dismay. I have solved the problem by just keeping away, which i know is wrong, and not speaking to him much any more. Im not sure either what to do. Help would be appreciated.

Many thanks

Guru

Never trust a thin chef!

JanetBoy7's picture

Welcome

Welcome Guru!

Yeah I’m pretty sure if I was force full I’d be able to get my guy to swing my way at least once, but I’d rather not. I'm sure it would just cause more problems. He did hold my hand once and that he did on his own.. ::: deep breath ::: oh well, the beat goes on...

Peace,
jboy
-Theres always tomorrow.

guru's picture

Sad :( ... but true!

"but I’d rather not." - JBoy, this is exactly the phrase i experience in my head often, why ruin a friendship at all by trying something out. Some people i speak to though say that this is a bad idea, some say one must make the mistake to really enjoy life etc... blah blah blah. im never sure. i agree with u though, well reading inbetween the lines, i agree that you should wait for him to make the first move, thats my philosophy with most straight guys, i wait for them to make the first move.

Any comment from anyone on this? is this the right direction to take or should I be more "Forward"... heh.

Later...

Guru

Never trust a thin chef!