My Bad Attempt

niks121997's picture

OK, Emily, I took your advice. This is the product of my free writing mixed with stream of conciousness. It's not too great. OK, upon re-reading it, it is downright sad. Oh well.

Access Denied

Bold and defiant lines
Interlocking in clasped hands
Tightly cling together, fused
As one against the world

Access denied flashes
Vibrant rainbow letters
Present themselves at every
Opportunity to remind,
Reinforce, the idea of
Denied access, withholding

Restraining against the norm
Social normalities begin to blur
Smudged edges, the conservatives
Are edgier and eager
To wave
Shout and exemplify
Access Denied
Deny, REly, Any, Re-lY
No, no I will not stand

Nor will I fall, a crumpled
Heap of self-denial on the earth
Stand true for the inate
A part of me, love & hope

Rip the denial from it's roots
Tear the "access denied" apart
Access + denied yields pain, hurt, hate
Yes true enough BUT
Love + Soul yields me
With

Full access to whomever or
Whatever I please,
Please don't deny
Access to life

Comments

sweetmittens's picture

ooh the talent :)

oh shoosh u!! stop fishing for the billions of compliments you're sure to get :P its really good! so stop 'denying' it!
-bi the way of kerith-

niks121997's picture

Fishing

No if I were fishing I'd say something along the lines of it being the worst thing ever put into print and should be burned off the screen. That'd be fishing. :)

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

stars and nothing's picture

...wow...

*awed into silence*

niks, i really like it. this may be my favorite poem of yours to date.

yes, it's sad, but it's also really honest and vivid.
i'm enamored! my favorite stanza is the one that begins, "Restraining against the norm..." i like the play on blurred edges/edgy conservatives. all the wordplay is well done.

i also took my own advice and ended up with my most recent post, "cutting," which, to me, is nothing short of mediocre. at least one of us got something cool out of the experiment!

tu poema es muy muy muy muy buena buena buena.
love emily

niks121997's picture

My Harshest Critic

So what I think sucks you like? Ha that's great. This :gestures above: is your favorite poem of mine? Well if you like it, then it has to be semi-good.

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

stars and nothing's picture

Haha

I think the same thing every time you love one of my poems that i'm so-so about. like how you really liked 'cutting.' that amused me, because i was like, oh, this is drivel, even as i was writing it. but then you made me re-think that simply because you liked it.

complicated tangle of opinions.

ACCgirl's picture

Awesome

I really liked this poem, and I think I have to agree with Emily when she said it's possibly one of your best. I especially liked the "Love + Soul yields me" part of it. Now if only some of those conservatives could sing the same song.

~ACC

random's picture

:)

hey i really like this one!!!
keep at it :)