Yep, that's two more people who know that I'm queer! Numbers two and three are my parents (number one being my sister). It actually went very closely to how I expected things to happen. But first, some context as to how this revelation came about.
Friday night, I'm at home as usual (religious house rule), and my sister's on the phone upstairs. After she gets off the phone, we were going to play some cards. So, I'm sitting downstairs with my parents, just chatting about stuff. Somehow, the topic of marriage was broached (in general terms-- I'm only 20, and I don't think they're trying to marry me off yet!). For a while, I've been attempting to drop subtle hints that I might be gay/bi, such as making random comments like "That guy [on TV] is hot," or "I might never get married," etc. These were attempts to 'soften' the news, when I would eventually say point-blank that I'm queer.
Well, I guess I wasn't obvious enough, or else they were so convinced that I was straight that they never really listened to me carefully. Again, I said something to the effect of "I might never get married," and they said "Oh, one day you'll find a nice girl who'll drag you into marriage". So, I decided that then was as good a time as any. I said something like "No, I really might never get married. You see, there's something I've been meaning to tell you. I'm pretty sure that I'm bisexual".
After the initial exchanges of "Really?" "Yeah." "Really?" "Yeah.", they were quite surprised. They had not expected this news at all! I've never had a serious girlfriend, and they figured it was because I would simply wait until after school to find one. Nope, sorry Mum and Dad, I'm more interested in guys!
Then we had a question and answer period. Are you dating anyone? When did you decide this (Ha!)? Who have you talked to about this? Have you had any counselling or support (G-d bless Oasis!)? Oh, and my personal favourite from my Dad (G-d bless him!): I don't really understand how you can feel attracted both to men and women equally. How do you explain the complexities of human sexuality to your parents, who've probably never reflected on these kinds of issues in their mainstream, heterosexual-normative lives? 'No, Dad, I'm not attracted to men and women equally, but I also don't think I'm completely homosexual'. Ooh, that was fun!
As I said at the beginning, their response was pretty much what I expected. Disappointment, but still very supportive and loving. Compared to what many people experience when their families discover these things, I should be quite thankful. Actually, guilty confession here: It was kind of fun disrupting the life script they had set out for me! They said: we expected education --> career --> [heterosexual] love --> [straight] marriage --> [grand]kids. That's the rebel in me: relishing the fight against bourgeois values!
I think that's about it. We played cards as planned, my Mum said she'd cry later because I disrupted what she had expected for me, though she still loves me. Both of them said it's a good thing that I felt comfortable sharing this news with them. I suppose that's as good a result as I could have wanted!
Where to from here? Well, I still don't know. Incidentally, that was also the title of my first ever journal entry on Oasis! Oh, how far I've come...
That's a long entry, but it's also really important! I expect the congratulations to come flooding in from you people! I've blogged twice in one week (or, as Adrian would prefer, "written a journal entry ;) and that's an event for me!
Thanks for reading,