It's not fair.

Brosia's picture

It's not fair. I know that's an overused saying these days, but it's true. See, my friend's girlfriend recently broke up with him. They were only going out for a month or so. But everyone (myself included) has been offering him a shoulder to cry on.

My girlfriend's family found out about us 5 months ago. We've been best friends for 8 years. I even lived with her family for a few years. Now we're forbidden from even talking to each other. I had spent every single day for the past few years with her, and suddenly I can't even send her a friendly email. All of our friends knew what was going on. But when this happened, only one of them stepped forward to offer her support. Everyone else just made it a point not to mention her name in my presence.

I know it's wrong, but I've been resenting this friend. I know he didn't do anything, but it bothers me that he can get so much sympathy for such a short lived relationship. And there are times, like when I'm missing her so bad that I cry for hours, that I hate my friends for not thinking that I might hurt too. For not realizing that the lonliness and pain are just as real as anything they can feel.

Does it make me a bad person?


sistinesylph's picture

No, of course not

It's just twisted the way things work out and the way SOME people think. People are the way the are and don't consider that along with being gay/bi, whatever, we're still human beings. And, it's completely understandable the way you feel.

maggot_vomit's picture

of course your not a bad person

of course your not a bad person. maybe your friends cant completely grasp the depth of your love for her, and her for you. some people just cant understand how two people of the same sex can love each other. and even if they think they can understand that love, they might not be able to understand how deep that love can go. and how true your feelings can be.

and on top of that, it is more socially exemptible for a boy and a girl to be together, than it is for a boy and a boy, or a girl and a girl. perhaps your friends didn’t come forward to help, because they didn’t want to be looked down apon socially by your family, and your girlfriends family, and by society in general.

i completely understand your loss, if you need a shoulder to cry on you can e-mail me some time,

niks121997's picture


Oh I could just launch into another tirade about the values that are placed on relationships. However, I won't. It'll just bore you and it doesn't really help. Of course you're not a bad person. Not mentioning her name isn't exactly the same thing as being there for you. Ok, no kidding let's state the obvious. I'm finishing this before I say anything else that's rather evident.

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

Rina's picture


No Brosia that does not make you a bad person. From what you have said it seems as though you should be the one getting the sympathy, not him even though he does deserve some of it too surely. And what you went through? Ouch it sounds terrible, sorry it happened.

If you do need to talk then feel free to e-mail me at or just PM me here.

Beauty isn't what you see, it's what you feel.

Brosia's picture

Thanks guys. I just felt bad

Thanks guys. I just felt bad because I was pissed at them and they didn't even realize they were doing anything. So I needed a place to vent. But again, thanks.