Just something I wrote last night

Brosia's picture

Sari's parents went to bed early, so she and I got to talk a little over the computer. I wrote this afterwards just to get it out of my system. I made the mistake of letting a friend read it, because now she's insisting I post it somewhere. So here it is.

What is it about her that makes me feel so damn sexy? I mean, I'm as ugly as sin. But when I talk to her or think of the way she looks at me, I feel like I could have any woman alive. Not that I'd want any but her. I hope that doesn't make me sound narcissistic. Because anyone who knows me can tell you my self esteem sucks. But right now, I feel amazing.

As you can probably guess, I talked to her again. Well, talked in our own unique way. We talked about the Tony Awards. We worked on the story. And then we got sentimental. And the sentimental turned into seduction. And honestly, I feel like I just got laid. This is the first time in months I've felt this good. I know you're probably thinking we were writing some steamy stuff. But really, anything we say to each other is public. So we have to keep it in check. I don't know. I guess it's just the notion that even thinking of me can have that effect on her. Here she is, this gorgeous girl that so many people would love to be with. But it's me she chose. It's me that makes her breath come quick and her heart beat faster. It's me that can make her melt by simply saying I wish I could kiss her. It's me she thinks about in those quiet moments before she falls asleep. It's me she dreams about when sleep finally takes her. And it's me she stands strong for when things are at their worst.

I know there have been people who loved before me. And there will be those who will love after me. And even those who are loving right now. But sometimes, when she feels so very near, I'm sure that no one else has ever loved like this and no one else ever will. I feel like, even though things are so bad right now, they won't matter in a few years. We'll lay there together in the bed we share, and we'll say "remember when..." And then we'll laugh about it, because we made it through. And we'll know that since we handled that, we can take anything that comes our way. And it's all because of that one constant feeling we share. She loves me.

Comments

ReLyX's picture

Wow...

You don't sound narcisstic at all. Just very lucky, and so unlucky at the same time. How anyone could seperate you two when you feel like this is beyond me. But be glad you do. And I think, that if you put enough effort into this, it's almost a certainty it will come out how you said. Anyways... that's enough of the (optimistic) Jakey...

  • Maria: Oh, Asuka, you got a massager!
  • Asuka: That's not a massager...
Wingedgirl's picture

self-esteem

i also have bad self-esteem most of the time. tho really, i doubt you're "as ugly as sin". it's great that you got to talk with Sari, and that she makes you feel that way. if only i cud find someone who i felt that way about and they felt that way about me(haha, wishful thinking). i know i've said this before, but once again, you are sooo lucky.

niks121997's picture

Love

Ah the reason that so many get up in the morning. Love. The struggle to find it. The constant searching for someone who could love you. Clinging to love. Ok sorry I'm rambling. All I have to say is whoo hoo! You talked to her. It's awesome. Just made my crappy ass day. :) :) I can only imagine how you feel. :) :) :) :sighs: Love. It can kill you. And it can also keep you alive. :) Ok enough smilies. Adios.

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

sistinesylph's picture

True love

That was really beautiful Brosia. It's amazing to know how powerful love really is. I'm very glad that you finally talked to her. I know you don't have to hear this from me because I know you believe it's true but I just wanted to see any love that is as beautiful as the love between you two can last forever.