the loneliest umbrella's picture

I have never posted on a site like this before... that is, a site for GLBT youth. I never thought I would have a reason to. I mean, my mom is a lesbian, and despite my efforts to follow her, I just really really like guys, almost exclusively. I guess I would be with a girl if her personality was just like... "Wow!" since the most important thing is really having a connection. So far, whoever's reading this (meaning YOU) is probably wondering why I'm posting here then. Well I was looking at the schedule for Seattle's Gay Pride Weekend, when I saw a link that said "I might be trans- What do I do?" or something like that. So I read it. And I felt some stirring deep inside me (let's not be inappropriate here, my dearies). I guess I would be a slight variation on the usual f2m... An f2m drag queen! I'm still kind of confused, but I feel so much... better! I was thinking and thinking and thinking and wondering and I knew I have this really strong feeling for being a man, but I am still so much into getting all glammed up. I should have known when RuPaul became my idol... hahaha. Well, anyway.

And in other news- Lollapalooza's been cancelled here! AAAAH!!!!

--For all my extra-sprinkly cupcakes


Byond_Shame's picture

hey! u and i have something i

hey! u and i have something in common....there definitly a part of me that's a gay/bi man (i'm biologically female), though i'm not thinking that it's a big enough part for me to call myself trans...right now i'm just settling on genderqueer and leaving it at that. but it's great to hear someone else struggling with this!
also, you might want to read a book called "Opposite Sex". it's a really interesting look at queer sexuality and gender issues, etc, and includes several pieces along these themes.

I do not attribute to nature either beauty or deformity, order or confusion. Only in relation to our imagination can things be called beautiful or ugly, well-ordered or confused.
~ Benedict Spinoza

the loneliest umbrella's picture

Why, hello!

You are a sweetie! Yes, I see what you mean with your choice of the 'genderqueer' label. Lately I have been trying to figure out exactly what it is that I am. You can see my new post for my new and improved definition of myself, if you like. You seem to be a very intelligent person, just the sort I'd like to associate with. Perhaps we could converse sometime over a couple hefty tomes and steaming chai? Just kidding, of course, though I'd love to talk to you. Yo're not a cupcake like the rest, though. You're a whole damn 5-tiered wedding cake! Much love to you especially, just because we have things in common and I'm a bit of an elitist like that.

sistinesylph's picture


I thought that it was canceled everywhere. .. Something about low ticket sales. Anyway though I just wanted to say welcome to you because everyone is. So hope to hear from you some more.

the loneliest umbrella's picture


CANCELLED EVERYWHERE?!! I'm going to diiiie! ~sob~

But thanks for the welcome. I appreciate it. You get funfetti frosting, too, cupcake.

the loneliest umbrella's picture

thank you

I don't think you sound nosy. I actually was writing in another journal- my xanga account- and I stumbled upon the concept that really I have more options than to try and stuff myself into ill-fitting boxes. You can read all about it in my newest post (coming after I reply to those who've commented.) I would like to say that growing up with a gay parent makes one stronger, more mature, and more caring because the child grows up with the understanding that just because a person or a group of people is looked down upon by such a large portion of the world, it doesn't mean they deserve that treatment. It's also easier to come to terms with situations like mine. However, it is more difficult to have a gay parent who consistently gets involved with psycho ladies than it is to have a straight parent in a series of bad relationships, because most people who hear about it will use it as 'proof' against the parenting skills of gay people. See? I went on more than you. But um... thanks for commenting. You get funfetti frosting, my dear!

morbid intentions 666's picture


i want a female 2 male trans :(
i want to love girls as a guy...&..&get higher pay...&..fatser promotions...&stop gettin molested by str8 guys....any penis donations?!?!
any1????pity the pity whore(me)!!!d@mmit!!!pity me!!!argh!!! *twitch* -.~ i needa donation!! *sharpens blade*
"keep ur thorns,cuz m running away" -Mudvayne
"A powerful festering energy roots itself in this land and carves a crest of blood"bcuz humans r so very simple" -fullmetal alchemist(lust)

the loneliest umbrella's picture


Well, aren't you a silly fuck? And by the way- I don't think you ought to have deathscythe for your picture. After all, the gundam pilots are supposed to be of higher than average intelligence, a trait you obviously lack at even the basic level. You aren't even the wrapper on a cupcake, dear.

adrian's picture


the one thing that is NOT tolerated on oasis is personal attacks against other members.

consider this a warning , and please refrain from it in the future.

Putting the HEAD back into Hedonism