Whining, as Usual

Brosia's picture

The big trip is next month. I've been invited to a wedding by the rich side of the family. I'm flying out to my aunt's house in California. We'll stay there for about a week, then fly to London. I love to travel, so this is a dream for me.

There's just a few problems. None of the people going know that I'm gay. It will be me, my grandpa, my aunt, my uncle, and my two cousins. And, with the exception of my grandpa, they're all very religious. Very Catholic.

So I guess the smart thing for me to do would throw my hands up in defeat and crawl back into the closet. But that goes against my nature. Ever since being outed by my dear Sari's parents, I've decided to be completely open about who I am. The only reason this half of the family doesn't know is because I haven't seen them for years. But I guess they'll know soon enough.

Another thing that bothers me is that this was supposed to be our trip. Sari's step-father is a major history buff. And he promised to send us to Europe as a graduation present. Of course, this was before they split us apart. And it just pains me to think that I'll have to see it all alone. And that I won't even be able to call her to ease my mind.

Sorry for all this whining. I've just been feeling sort of down lately, and this is the only place I can vent without my friends avoiding me for a week.

Comments

insignificant_me's picture

hey, no apologizing for whini

hey, no apologizing for whining allowed here! that kinda sucks that you feel like you have to hide who you are from your family. I kinda feel the same way though. I haven't really ever said anything to my about being gay, but i dont change the way I act around them anymore. I still dress like a tomboy and play out side with the guys. You can still be yourself without completely comming out to your family.

Wingedgirl's picture

stay out of the closet

Brosia,
i don't think you should have to hide who you are. people are going to find out sooner or later, and it's always painful pretending to be something you aren't. some people you know may not accept who you are, and that may be painful, but that pain is nothing compared to the agony of spending all of your time hiding. if someone doesn't like who you are, it's their problem, not yours.
i read the first entry in your journal, and the story of the love between you and Sari is incredible.i know it's terrible what you're going through, not being able to see her, but hang in there. you are extremely lucky even to have experienced love like that, something that others may not experience ever in their entire lives.
here's wishing you best of luck and i hope you and Sari will be together again someday in the near future.

Helen

niks121997's picture

Echo

I echo everything Helen said. You two should be together. Ha, I don't know either of you, and here I am making announcements like someone in charge. Oh well. I just feel y'all should be together.

"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

ReLyX's picture

Don't worry about the whining...

We're here to support you. That's REALLY unfair what they did to Sari. I mean, they think they're doing it in the best interests of the both of you, or at least they tell themselves that. Why is it that people just can't understand? We're here, though, if you need us. I'm relyx@dragonmount.com on msn, and asdfbiobn on AIM.

  • Maria: Oh, Asuka, you got a massager!
  • Asuka: That's not a massager...
Brosia's picture

Me being mushy

Ok, this is super cheesy. But as I was reading all of your comments, all I could think was "I'm home." I just can't say thanks enough. You guys (and girls) are awesome.