a few thoughts on coming out

stormslife's picture

i was just wondering... it seems to me that a lot of people once they come out feel a weight come off their shoulters, right? sorta like being set free. i've never felt that way, even tho i'm out to my family and friends now. and i think i figured out why. i never really came out. i was outed. i wasn't ready for them to know when they found out. but it happened. and now i've got to deal with it. i think the process of coming out is more a process of becoming comfortable enough with yourself and your sexuality to tell people than a process of getting the courage to tell them. maybe i'm wrong here, but it's the only thing that makes sense to me, considering how i feel about my sexuality and how i keep trying to hide myself... and how uncomfortable i am when others bring it up.

what are your thoughts on the subject? i think it'd be interesting to hear other people's opinions on this.

milly the fairy's picture

yes...i know what you mean

well, i wasn't exactly outed. i was simply so happy i had a girl friend that i told my friends, as you would.
then someone saw us (me and the ex gf) flirting and spread it around. so i didn't deny it when people asked me, because i felt that i shouldn't deny it. now i see that was a bad thing to do, because it wasn't anyones business, and i didn't always want to tell.

coming out is something you have to do. its not always easy, my parents cried when they found out. my opiion is its not something everyone needs to know, even if they are your best mate and you've known them for years, unless you feel ready. because if you spill before you want to, you'll really regret it.

love amelia

chrisis's picture

Hello

I dont think that you'll regret it but I do agree with you saying it is something you have to do. The guy up there should discuss his sexuality with his familly and friends, so he know they've come to terms with it and maybe it will help him also.

stormslife's picture

i'm sorry, but i think i was

i'm sorry, but i think i was misunderstood. what i mean is: it seems to me that the process of coming out is more about learning to accept yourself than actually telling people about your sexuality. sorry about that.

Ashe Wednesday's picture

It does feel better

I agree with you whole-heartedly on when you said i think the process of coming out is more a process of becoming comfortable enough with yourself and your sexuality to tell people than a process of getting the courage to tell them. The feeling you get from being comfortable with yourself gives you the confidence. And it does feel like a weight is lifted. I'm sorry your "coming" out was like that.

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Things will change. I will change.
Ai ess aich ell ee why.

CarpeNoctum's picture

yeah...

Yeah I was outed too, and it's not fun. I don't feel any weight off my shoulders either because it wasn't like I was ready to let it go. I mean I make a bigger effort to be completely out now that some people know, but I'm not necessarily feelin more free either. It does make me uncomfortable when people ask me about my sex life and stuff like that, but meh, relationship conversations aren't my thing anyway ya know? Anyway, I know what you're talking about, makes perfect sense to me. If you wanna talk ever, feel free to send me a message.
Cay