i dont deserve to live

ilovepwin's picture

i dont deserve to live right now....im just so fat and ugly....everyone hates me...i do nothing but make things bad for everyone....i cant do anything right...the only reason i have for living is my gf.

this is going to sound really stupid but i need to say it and my gf is still too ill for me to talk to her about it. I was up in my sisters room talking to her about an artwork she is currently making for school. I was sitting on her little metal pedle bin . I had een sitting on it for about 15 minutes when all of a sudden the lid cracked in. its just a little dent but she got mad and she yelled at me and then she old me just get out. i didnt mean to o it an i told her i was sorry....but she wouldnt liten to me....see....how stupid and fat am i....i hate it....i miss my gf so much....i just want to run away someplace where everyhting is good.....where there is nothing bad....

right now i feel like a little child.....i wish i could just run up to my grandma and le her hold me while i just cried....but u know what...that would b easier if she was still alive.....

geez this world is so unfair and i hate it....but no as much as i hate myself right now...


Byond_Shame's picture

hang in there! yeah, life do

hang in there! yeah, life does suck a lot of the time, more than it should, but some things can be fixed. as someone who's done the depression/suicide trip, i'd definitly advise you to find some help, just someone to talk too. you don't have to do this alone, and a lot of what you're feeling may be hormonal, so could be fixed with the right medication. just know that it's nothing to be ashamed of, getting pyschological help does not make you "crazy", and that you are certainly not alone in it.

We who have been thrown into the fire will use that fire to set the world aflame.