My Coming Out Story

Anonymous's picture

I spose I'll add my coming out story to the ones other people have posted. It's not that interesting...

I knew my Mom would be completely fine with my sexuality. I had taken almost a year I think to gather up the courage to tell her, though. When I did, I wrote her a letter/note telling her. I sat next to her on her bed, crying and crying, while she read it. True to my beliefs, she didn't mind one bit. She gave me hugs and reassured me that my fears were not reality: I was scared that I wouldn't be the daughter she wanted, or that she would think I was a freak, or she would love me less. Now, even though I'm still trying to get more comfortable with it, I can talk to her about it openly, and she will have conversations with me about it like it's every day life. Which it is. I feel very lucky that my Mom is laid back and is fine with my s.o. I think I just said this a few minutes ago in a comment I made on someone's journal, but it really does bother me that so many people aren't accepted in their families because of their sexuality. I wish there was something I could do or say to at least help them feel better.
Though I've come out to my Mom, I have yet to come out to my Dad. I'll talk to him about the whole gay marriage issue going on with the government and everything, and try to get his view on gay-ness. I'm still not sure, though. My family has had an extremely rough past, basically thanks to my Dad. And he and I have built up a good relationship, though I still sometimes feel tense around him. He was verbally abusive, and I'm still learning more about the past. He was physically abusive towards one of my sisters that I know of. This of course isn't nearly as bad as any physical abuse anyone else experiences, but one time sticks out in my mind: he once spanked me so bad that I couldn't sit down for a day or two. I felt humiliated in front of my friends in school because they noticed I wasn't really sitting in my chair...I was pretty young, second or third grade maybe. I tried to keep my bottom from touching my chair by kind of holding myself up with my arms. Mom told me of one thing that happened to my brother when he was young: he was with my Dad in the car and they were waiting for someone. He was sitting next to Dad, and leaned his head on his shoulder. Dad shoved him away and told him it made him look gay. That really bothers me. That also brings doubts to my mind when I think about coming out to my Dad. I don't want to destroy our relationship. And yes, I am extremely pissed off about how he acted in the past, but that isn't stopping me from having a good relationship with him. He's still my father and I love him. And once again I feel so much gratitude towards my Mom; whenever I express my fears of coming out to someone close to me, she reassures me and lets me know that there's no rush, and that I'm not obligated to tell anyone.
I still have not come out my oldest sister, my brother, or my younger sister. I know that none of them would ever mind my sexuality. Sometimes I will bring up homosexuality with my younger sister and have a casual conversation about it. She's 9, so I don't get into it that much. I've asked her if she thinks it's gross and she said no, it's normal. And I'll talk to her about how I think gay guys are cute; how some of them act very feminine. She and I will giggle about it together. :)


Anonymous's picture

I'm just checking something..

I'm just checking something...(my signature) I don't know html...

She keeps on asking, do you think it hurts to die? It's hurting so much more to stay alive...

Dan84's picture


Thanks for your story! It's always nice to hear stories where the parents are cool with one's sexual orientation... as opposed to the ones where the parents basically kick you out of the family... whether physically or emotionally.