Name changed to protect the lovely young woman.
I watch your slim back as you walk away from me. I know you are crying
and mad at me for what I said. I see your shoulders shaking, getting farther
away from me. A tear falls down my own face and I don’t move to wipe it away.
Jenna, I’m sorry. I love you. I didn’t want to. I had to. Excuses. Can’t
we be friends?
You were my first girlfriend. You were my best girlfriend.
I remember all the fun we had. The movies we saw, the CDs we listened
to, the clothes we tried on, the guys we dissed.
The times we just chilled.
The way you lit my world up brighter than the sun.
The way you were always smiling.
The way you trusted me with your problems.
The way we made love together.
The way you made me so happy I could have cried.
Now you’re gone. I miss you already.
I can’t see you anymore. You’ve turned the corner. How long until you
forget me? I stand here alone on the street in front of Starbucks. More tears
creep down my cheeks.
A thunderclap does not startle me. The rolling clouds do not move me.
The rain, falling and hitting me, only helps me release my pent-up feelings. I
begin to cry with the rain. People hurry past me with umbrellas, huge shopping
bags and briefcases. Some give me annoyed looks. I don’t really see these
people. I can only see your face.
I do not take any passionate, Hollywood action like screaming to the sky
or running after you. I simply sob uncontrollably. There are a million things
I want to do to get it all out of me, so many that I am pulled and paralyzed
by them all. Slowly, I sink to my knees. My drenched hair drips down my back.
A strange memory comes back and plays relentlessly in my mind like a
movie theater. You are tickling me, laughing with me, until neither of us can
breathe. We lay on the floor, your eyes looking down at me and smiling. Your
hand sneaks in, down my pants, exploring. I lean up and kiss you. I take the
oppotunity to slide my fingers under the edge of your lowrise jeans and cop a
feel on your ass. You smile and giggle, and all of a sudden I am dropped into
a totally new feeling that explodes between my legs and spreads all over me,
intense and so good that I think I gasp. You have your eyes closed but you’re