Annuals of clausterphobia

VictoryGin's picture

I guess this is my first entry, so here goes. I live in a little hick town outside of Seattle: 45 minutes away, 60 years behind. It really does seem that way. Everytime Seattle or Washington moves forward in time, Monroe moves back. Today, for example, I saw on the news that, if the supreme court approves the judge's ruling, gay marriage will become legal in King County (greater Seattle area). Filled with joy over said proclimation, I headed after work to the library to get some good reading in. Tragically, I found that the library had removed The Advocate and Details magazine from the collection because of "homosexual connotations". As these publications are some of my only links to the world outside NASCAR and cattle, I treasure them deeply, and was crushed when they were gone. I can't subscribe to them; my mother would figure it out and kick me out. I can't support myself and finish school at the same time, so I really am trying to stay in my mother's good graces. On the way home, 3 people driving past me screamed something along the lines of "faggot", if a little less polite. I jump everytime a car comes by. It's way too easy to imagine the persecution escalate from shoving and name calling, which I can deal with, to actual jumping, which I can't. Every waking moment in this hellhole has me depressed, angry, or terrified. There are worse cases out there, but it's hard to remember sometimes. I just wish I could be in a town where the sight of a cowboy hat doesn't scare me. Ah, well. That's all from me. Thanks for listening.